


where everyone are dumbassess but this time on twitter

by Sherr



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: And also groupchats, Because I'm gay myself, Because fuck cliches, Crack, F/M, Flash Thompson Redemption, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Humor, I don't want to keep tagging, I want friendship, Identity Reveal, IronDad is dad, M/M, Memes, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, So much memes guys, That's it, There's also a lot of gay, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2020-02-15 23:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18679069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherr/pseuds/Sherr
Summary: Junior Spider @spidermantwitter i have an important questionJunior Spider @spidermanin a scale of one to bucky chugging an entire bottle of tabasco sauce, how much of a dumbass am i?





	1. :(

**Author's Note:**

> Everything here is set in an alternative timeline where everything is the same but Thanos didn't happen because I want everyone to be happy 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, just to let y'all know, the relationships tagged are the ones established before this fic. There's more in the way, because that's always fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Starting new projects instead of finishing the ones I already have ongoing? It's more likely than you think

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

twitter i have an important question

 **_Eugene Lee Yang can step on me @heyitsannie_ ** _in response to **@spiderman**_

???

____

 **_You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc_ ** _in response to **@spiderman**_

What's the matter, beach boy?

____

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

in a scale of one to bucky chugging an entire bottle of tabasco sauce, how much of a dumbass am i?

 **_duck @duck_ ** _in response to **@spiderman**_

lmao bucky did what

 **_Jesus @buckybarnes_ ** _in response to **@spiderman** and **@duck**_

in my defense, i was sleep deprived and local known bitch sam wilson dared me

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@duck** and **@buckybarnes**_

your defense means shit because literally everyone in that room told you not to

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@duck** and **@spiderman**_

im not one to back down of a challenge

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@duck, @spiderman** and **@buckybarnes**_

I know you think that what you're saying is working on your favor, but it really isn't

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@duck, @spiderman** and **@THEfalcon**_

shut the fuck up

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@duck, @THEfalcon** and **@buckybarnes**_

god i love being an avenger

* * *

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

in a scale of one to bucky chugging an entire bottle of tabasco sauce, how much of a dumbass am i?

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@spiderman**_

You running into a pole that one time

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@michelle_jones1**_

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@spiderman**_

You compete with Bucky, then

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@michelle_jones1**_

aw man :(

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@michelle_jones1** and **@spiderman**_

wtf don't act like it's a bad thing

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@michelle_jones15** and **@buckybarnes**_

but it is!!!!

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@michelle_jones1** and **@spiderman**_

yk what, you're grounded. **_@youknowwhoiam_** come get your kid

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@michelle_jones1** and **@buckybarnes**_

LKDLKDKFKDKKFD NO

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@spiderman** and **@buckybarnes**_

It's like watching two toddlers interact

* * *

**_sicko mode @kassssssidy_ **

lmao did bucky threaten spiderman with ironman

____

_**duck @duck** _

this is the best day of my life

____

_**Tony Stark can blast me any day @tonystarkfanacc** _

Okay but Bucky just confirmed **#IronDad**

_**Danni @danni.vazquezz** in response to **@tonystarkfanacc**_

HE DID!! THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN

____

**_SCREAMING INTENSIFIES @axel2143_ **

HI I'M CRYING ON THIS CHILI'S TONIGHT BECAUSE OF **#IRONDAD** BEING CONFIRMED

* * *

_**Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby** _

God damn it _**@buckybarnes**_

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@blackwidowbaby**_

sowwy :(

_**Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

Now I really have to kill you

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@blackwidowbaby**_

finally

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@blackwidowbaby** and **@buckybarnes**_

nO.

* * *

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** _

just so you guys know, captain america is scolding bucky for joking about dying

_**cj @charleyjay** in response to **@spiderman**_

damn, cap coming for the millennials and gen z like this

* * *

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** _

Why the fuck is **#IronDad** trending????

_**War Machine Was Here @colrhodes** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

Bucky happened.

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@colrhodes**_

God damn it

* * *

**_Tony @youknowwhoiam_ **

Why the fuck is **#IronDad** trending????

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

:)

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@spiderman**_

Just so you know, you're grounded

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

:(

* * *

**_Pepper Potts @peppervpotts_ **

_**@buckybarnes**_ :(

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@peppervpotts**_

:(

* * *

**_howdy bitch @jesseen_ **

that interaction between pepper and bucky was just the two of them putting ":(" but somehow i know bucky is screwed

____

_**black widow can kill me and i'd thank her @blackwindow** _

rip bucky

_**Jared, 19 @whatupimj** in response to **@blackwindow**_

F

* * *

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** _

Pepper grounded Bucky. :(

_**Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby** in response to **@captainamerica**_

It's what he deserves

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@blackwidowbaby**_

:(

* * *

_**duck @duck** _

pepPER GROUNDED BUCKY IM DYING

____

**_Pepper Potts pls love me @pepperpottsfan_ **

This is a blessed timeline

* * *

**_Pepper Potts @peppervpotts_ **

_**@spiderman**_ :(

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@peppervpotts**_

:(

* * *

**_Jared, 19 @whatupimj_ **

Damn, Pepper has no mercy

____

_**Flash @flashthompson2** _

RIP Spiderman :(

____

_**You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc** _

_**@peppervpotts**_ pls don't kill spidey

* * *

**_Tony @youknowwhoiam_ **

God, I love my wife

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

❤

* * *

**_Eugene Lee Yang can step on me @heyitsannie_ **

get urself a man that publicly claims to love u bc u just grounded grown ass adults for being idiots

_**Danni @danni.vazquezz** in response to **@heyitsannie**_

Can't relate lmao

____

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** _

Tfw you want to be Tony Stark just to publicly claim to love your wife, Pepper Potts

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@michelle_jones1**_

mj ur gay is showing

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@peterbparker**_

Let me be gay in peace man, tf

_**Guy in the chair @ned.leeds** in response to **@michelle_jones1** and **@peterbparker**_

She isn't wrong, tho

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@michelle_jones1** and **@ned.leeds**_

fair

____

_**Pepper Potts pls love me @pepperpottsfan** _

_**@youknowwhoiam** _Okay, spill, how the fuck did you get to marry Pepper

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@pepperpottsfan**_

I got extremely lucky

* * *

**_Captain Popsicle @captainamerica_ **

Someone: Teens from this generation are fighting more for this country's future than politicians ever did  
Me: :)  
Someone: They also joke about wanting to die  
Me: :(

* * *

**_Carrot @carriecarrot_ **

can you guys believe that captain america singlehandedly ended self-deprecating humor

____

_**duck @duck** _

Cap getting worried because of teens joking about death is such a dad thing to do

____

**_Waluiiiiiiiigi @waluigionsmash_ **

Are you really telling me Bucky gets self-deprecating humor but Cap doesn't

_**Danni @danni.vazquezz** in response to **@waluigionsmash**_

One of us

____

**_RA-RA-RASPUTIN @loverofurmom_ **

are we ignoring that shade thrown at the politicians lmaoooo

____

_**Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996** _

someone needs to tell cap to stop being a sweetheart because my heart can only take so much

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@gaysince1996**_

working on it (also, cool @)

_**Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

KKFDKKDSLSLDLD WH A T

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@gaysince1996**_

he said no

_**Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

damn cap, youre killing me here

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@gaysince1996** and **@buckybarnes**_

Then perish.

____

_**Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996** _

IM FUCKING DYING WHAT JUST HAPPENED JHFLJLJALDJLAJLRJS

____

**_Tillie @tilliebun_ **

Cap: gets sad at teens using self-deprecating humor  
Also cap: uses the then perish meme when someone says theyre dying

_**Carrot @carriecarrot** in response to **@tilliebun**_

only respect for my captain

* * *

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** _

_**@captainamerica**_ :(

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@peppervpotts**_

:(

* * *

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** _

_**@blackpanther** _brother you need to be more like pepper, then maybe people would respect you

_**T'Challa @blackpanther** in response to **@shuri**_

Shut it.

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@blackpanther**_

no ❤

* * *

**_MJ @michelle_jones1_ **

When I grow up I wanna be like Pepper

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@michelle_jones1**_

dont we all?

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** in response to **@michelle_jones1** and **@peterbparker**_

Aww, you guys are the sweetest. ❤

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@peterbparker** and **@peppervpotts**_

Brb, dying

* * *

**_Flash @flashthompson2_ **

**_@michelle_jones1_** how???

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

I really want to sass you, but in all honesty I don't have any idea either

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@flashthompson2** and **@michelle_jones1**_

she says she has gotten curious about u because i talk about u and ned a lot

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@flashthompson2** and **@peterbparker**_

WHAT THE FUCK PETER, DON'T

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@flashthompson2** and **@michelle_jones1**_

:0

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@flashthompson2** and **@peterbparker**_

I'm going to kill you

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@michelle_jones1** and **@peterbparker**_

????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know


	2. bisexual bros and tiny lesbians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junior Spider @spiderman
> 
> bucky is such a chaotic neutral
> 
> Jesus @buckybarnes in response to @spiderman
> 
> and don't you dare forget it

_**P.P @peterbparker** _

i want. hug :(

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@peterbparker**_

Kid, it's literally 3 am, why are you up?

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

hug :(

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

also, y r u up!!!!

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@peterbparker**_

I don't have school tomorrow

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

but... hug :(

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@peterbparker**_

I'll hug you tomorrow, go to sleep

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@peterbparker**_

>:(

* * *

_**#sleepdeprived @tiredlesbian69** _

waking up at 3 am wanting hugs? i can relate

____

_**You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc** _

Who the fuck is Peter?

____

_**Tony Stark can blast me any day @tonystarkfanacc** _

We stan one **#IronDad**

____

**Flash @flashthompson2**

how the fuck

* * *

**STOP LEAVING YOUR SHIELD EVERYWHERE, STEVE**

**baby spider:** guys  
**baby spider:** i want hug :(

 **mom spider:** It's 3 am, Peter

 **baby spider:** hug :(

 **7 phds:** If I give you a hug, will you go to sleep?

 **baby spider:** arent u on new asgard tho

 **7 phds:** Answer the question

 **baby spider:** i mean, yeah

 **7 phds:** Okay then

 **mom spider** : That's not ominous at all

* * *

_**P.P @peterbparker** _

get urself a science uncle that convinces the literal goddess of mischief to teletransport him to ur room to give u a hug _**@brucebanner** **@godofmischief**_

[Attached: _A picture of Peter, Bruce and Loki. Peter is very disheveled and clearly sleep deprived, being hugged by both Bruce and Loki. Bruce is wearing a shirt way too big for him and it's smiling at the camera, while Loki is on her female form, giving the camera an unimpressed look. Peter is smiling and visibly beaming._ ]

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@peterbparker** and **@godofmischief**_

Go to sleep, Peter

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@peterbparker** and **@brucebanner**_

If you don't go to sleep Thor is going to be sad.

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@brucebanner** and **@godofmischief**_

OKAY IM GOING

* * *

**_Confused @bisexualdisaster_ **

hold on, is _**@godofmischief**_ genderfluid or am i missing something here

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@bisexualdisaster**_

Indeed I am.

_**Confused @bisexualdisaster** in response to **@godofmischief**_

JGKGDKJGHLLGDSH WE STAN

____

**duck @duck**

so no one is going to comment on how cute this peter kid is or????

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@duck**_

he literally isn't but go off ig

_**duck @duck** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

you know what, youre right. Hes handsome af and i want him to raw me

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@duck**_

not at all my point and also ew

_**duck @duck** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

go with your homophobia somewhere else i literally dont care lmao

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@duck**_

didn't know you were male but go off I GUESS

____

**_Dreamcatcher stan since 2018 @standc_ **

So this Peter kid is casually getting hugs from two of the most gorgeous Avengers? Wow, a bitch is jealous and that bitch is ME

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@standc**_

klldlslsldldk thats so nice of u to say but i need to correct u and tell u loki isnt part of the avengers b4 she sees this and gets mad

_**Dreamcatcher stan since 2018 @standc** in response to **@peterbparker**_

THAT'S TOTALLY OKAY AND LOKI I'M SO SORRY BUT ALSO PLEASE HUG ME

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response **@standc** and **@peterbparker**_

Peter go the fuck to sleep

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@standc** and **@youknowwhoiam**_

ive been spotted

* * *

_**Loki @godofmischief** _

_**@standc**_ DM me your location

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** in response to **@godofmischief**_

Sister, are you going to kill them?

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@godofthunder**_

What? No. They requested a hug, so I'm giving them a hug.

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@godofthunder** and **@godofmischief**_

Speaking of which, they responded.

* * *

**_Dreamcatcher stan since 2018 @standc_ **

I forgot how to breathe

[Attached: _a picture of Loki and who presumably seems to be **@standc.** They're both smiling at the camera, and Loki seems to be hugging them quite tightly._]

____

**_Dreamcatcher stan since 2018 @standc_ **

LOKI STARTED TO FOLLOW ME, WHAT'S MY LIFE

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@standc**_

You give good hugs.

_**Dreamcatcher stan since 2018 @standc** in response to **@godofmischief**_

And I'm also dying

* * *

_**Jonah @jonahwithanh** _

All of these Loki apologists seem to forget he literally tried to take over New York

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@jonahwithanh**_

and u seem to forget loki was literally being mind controlled at the time but sure

_**Jonah @jonahwithanh** in response to **@spiderman**_

Yeah, sure. That's what they want us to believe so the people don't riot against the Avengers. Fuck off

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@jonahwithanh**_

omg u believe on conspiracy theories, lmao. im not surprised now

_**Jonah @jonahwithanh** in response to **@spiderman**_

I believe in the truth they're trying to hide from us

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@jonahwithanh**_

and im sure that has worked wonders for u

_**Jonah @jonahwithanh** in response to **@spiderman**_

What the fuck is that even supposed to mean

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@jonahwithanh**_

mr thor wants to have a friendly talk with u

* * *

_**RA-RA-RASPUTIN @loverofurmom** _

did thor kill jonah lmao

____

_**thunder thighs @thirstyforagod** _

We stan an overprotective brother

____

_**Loki @godofmischief** _

Dear God, Thor is exhausting

____

_**Loki hugged me @standc** _

Thor is me right now

* * *

_**Jonah @jonahwithanh** _

Jesus Christ, guys. No, Thor didn't kill me. We just talked. It was very enlightening

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@jonahwithanh**_

so are u done trash talking loki...? 👀👀👀

_**Jonah @jonahwithanh** in response to **@spiderman**_

Hm, yes. I would like to apologize to Loki. I really didn't know shit about the situation and it was pretty messed up of me to believe what I believed

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@jonahwithanh** and **@spiderman**_

No harm done.

* * *

**TWO AND A HALF GODS**

**spider half-god:** are u guys boooooonding? 👀

 **thunder god:** Mayhaps

 **snek god:** If you call eating McDonald's in a random city of Norway bonding.

 **spider half-god:** i would call that bonding, yes

 **thunder god:** Loki, I'm going to drink this smoothie faster than you

 **snek god:** No, you aren't.

 **spider half-god:** oh no

* * *

**_Strongest Avenger @godofthunder_ **

Loki isn't talking to me :(

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@godofthunder**_

Oh, no! What happened?

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** in response to **@brucebanner**_

She got brain freeze because I dared her to drink a smoothie faster than me and now she's mad :(

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@godofthunder**_

... I honestly don't know what I expected. Please just come here before Brunhilde breaks another couch

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** in response to **@brucebanner**_

Will do <3

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@godofthunder** and **@brucebanner**_

Gross. Stop flirting on my feed.

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** in response to **@brucebanner** and **@godofmischief**_

So you talk to me just to shame me for flirting with my boyfriend. Hm. I see how it is

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@godofthunder** and **@godofmischief**_

Oh my God, guys, you're still on Twitter

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@brucebanner** and **@godofthunder**_

... Oh.

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** in response to **@brucebanner** and **@godofmischief**_

Whoops

* * *

**_PAIN.gif @capholtonmain_ **

I'M CRYING, BRUCE AND THOR ARE DATING?!!!!

____

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** _

You guys have NO regards for my mental health nor the PR team.

____

_**Tyler Finley @taylorthef** _

thor is a fag??? ugh, there goes one of my heroes

_**thunder thighs @thirstyforagod** in response to **@taylorthef**_

You're disgusting. Thor has literally almost died protecting this planet and you care for his sexual orientation? Fuck off

_**Tyler Finley @taylorthef** in response to **@thirstyforagod**_

no, you fuck off, if you want to keep adoring a fag be my guest, im not supporting this kind of sins

_**thunder thighs @thirstyforagod** in response to **@taylorthef**_

He's literally a god but go off ig

* * *

**_Pepper Potts @peppervpotts_ **

**_@godofmischief_** :(

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@peppervpotts**_

:(

* * *

**_Loki hugged me @standc_ **

Aw man, rip Loki :(

_**thunder thighs @thirstyforagod** in response to **@standc**_

F

* * *

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** _

Hello, Twitter! :)  
Yesterday, my sister Loki and I were a bit careless while interacting here, and it resulted on my relationship with Bruce being put public

 

> _**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** _
> 
> So, yes. I am dating Bruce, have been for a while now. I'm very happy with this relationship and, while this was not how we expected to tell the world, there's not going back now
> 
> _**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** _
> 
> Bruce makes me unbelievable happy. _**@brucebanner**_ Love you <3
> 
> _**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@godofthunder**_
> 
> I love you too <3

____

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** _

And since a lot of you have been asking, I am bisexual!

____

_**Loki @godofmischief** _

Twitter is not ready for the amount of flirting there's going to be now that they're publicly dating.

 

> **_Loki @godofmischief_ **
> 
> I'm already tired.
> 
> _**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** in response to **@godofmischief**_
> 
> You're also supposed to be grounded.
> 
> _**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@peppervpotts**_
> 
> I hate this family.

* * *

**P.P @peterbparker**

tmw one of ur fav avengers comes out while ur on class and u have to pull all ur willpower to not screech

_**Guy in the chair @ned.leeds** in response to **@peterbparker**_

That was crazy!!!

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@ned.leeds**_

im like. crying

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@peterbparker** and **@ned.leeds**_

So that's why you're crying?????

* * *

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

**_@godofthunder_** bisexual bros!!!!!

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** in response to **@spiderman**_

!!!!! Bisexual bros!!!!!!

* * *

**_You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc_ **

SO FIRST WE GET THORBRUCE BEING REAL AND NOW SPIDEY CAME OUT AS BI, THIS IS SUCH A BLESSED DAY FOR THE GAYS

____

**_Confused @bisexualdisaster_ **

both of them coming out in the blessed year of 20biteen is such a power move

____

**_Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996_ **

We stan literal legends

____

**_howdy bitch @jesseen_ **

me? stanning bicons thor and spiderman? it's more likely than you think

____

**_Jared, 19 @whatupimj_ **

Spiderman and Thor are the bisexual representation we need but don't deserve

_**Tillie @tilliebun** in response to **@whatupimj**_

Preach it

____

**_SWINGING BOTH WAYS @spideyfan_ **

In conclusion: we're stanning harder than before

____

_**Flash @flashthompson2** _

spiderman came out as bisexual so now I'm legally obliged to love him even more than before

_**Carrot @carriecarrot** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

fucking mood

____

**_Sign this petition to die @fatalistic.queen_ **

Thor is bisexual and a wlw ally, he's THAT bitch

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** in response to **@fatalistic.queen**_

Of course! I love my tiny lesbians!

_**Sign this petition to die @fatalistic.queen** in response to **@godofthunder**_

KJFLKSLKFLKALS

____

**_tiny lesbian @fatalistic.queen_ **

I love my dad

* * *

**AVENGAYS**

**star spangled ass:** Jesus, you guys are trending worldwide.

 **Jesus:** you called?

 **star spangled ass:** I'm literally begging you to stop.

 **Jesus:** no

* * *

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** _

bucky is such a chaotic neutral

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@spiderman**_

and don't you dare forget it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you a finger gun bisexual or a piece sign bisexual  
> I'm peace sign


	3. chaotic evil bisexual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony @youknowwhoiam
> 
> I can't believe everyone is more focused on T'Challa than on my thirst tweets smh
> 
> T'Challa @blackpanther in response to @youknowwhoiam
> 
> I'm more important than you.
> 
> Tony @youknowwhoiam in response to @blackpanther
> 
> Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the request of [ Seventeenthcircleofhell ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seventeenthcircleofhell/pseuds/Seventeenthcircleofhell), have Tony being a chaotic bisexual
> 
> Also, letting you all know that I don't normally take requests. This one seemed funny, so that's why it's here

**_Tony @youknowwhoiam_ **

Not to, like, be horny on main or anything, but Sebastian Stan can get it

_**Tony Stark can blast me any day @tonystarkfanacc** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

Does,,,, doesn't he look like Bucky???

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@tonystarkfanacc**_

So?

* * *

**_Tony Stark can blast me any day @tonystarkfanacc_ **

???????

____

_**LOTOR DESERVED BETTER 2K19 @angrylotorstan** _

The chaotic evil icon we deserve is finally back

____

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** _

One day. That's all I ask. One day without this kind of bullshit.

____

**_Pepper Potts pls love me @pepperpottsfan_ **

Uh oh, Pepper cursed. We're all screwed

* * *

**PEPPERONY WITH BEAR**

**pepp:** Anthony Edward Stark.

 **rony:** That would be my name, yes

 **pepp:** What.

 **rony:** I woke up today and thought 'damn guys are hot' so I gotta scream my bisexuality somewhere

 **e:** THAT'S what you meant with that message????

 **pepp:** Message?

 **e:** [screenshot:

_**tony stank:** I have the sudden urge to get pegged_

_**Rhode work ahead:** What the fuck._]

**pepp:**

**rony:** Can I keep being horny on main????

 **pepp:** You're so lucky I love you enough to deal with PR. 

 **rony:** I love you 3000, dear!

 **pepp:** I love you too. Now go be an useless bisexual.

 **e:** That's gonna be interesting to watch.

* * *

**_Pepper Potts @peppervpotts_ **

Wow. Would you look at that. I'm suddenly Jared, 19.

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@peppervpotts**_

im crying,,,,, this is golden

____

**_Pepper Potts pls love me @pepperpottsfan_ **

Pepper? Quoting memes????? This IS a blessed timeline

____

_**howdy bitch @jesseen** _

did pepper unleash the beast

____

**_War Machine Was Here @colrhodes_ **

Sigh.

____

**_Jared, 19 @whatupimj_ **

None of you had your name be quoted by a literal queen and it shows

* * *

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** _

I present to all of you... America's ass

[Attached: _A collage of photos of Captain America's ass._ ]

_**Lang @itsantman** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

now THAT is america's ass

* * *

**_Captain Popsicle @captainamerica_ **

**_@youknowwhoiam_** Hey.

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@captainamerica**_

What?

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

Bitch.

* * *

**_Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996_ **

wow, how did tony stark know that today was my birthday

____

**_Waluiiiiiiiigi @waluigionsmash_ **

CAN WE POINT OUT THAT BUCKY LIKED THAT TWEET WITH CAP'S ASS BECAUSE I'M NOT OKAY

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@waluigionsmash**_

shhhhhh

____

**_Carrot @carriecarrot_ **

I'm crying what is happening

____

**_Danni @danni.vazquezz_ **

Tony being horny on main? We stan

____

**_SCREAMING INTENSIFIES @axel2143_ **

TUMBLR IS DYING SOMEONE HELP THEM

* * *

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** _

Hmmmmm, always loved a guy with a cape

[Attached: _Two pictures. The first one is of Thor, back when he had his hammer and long hair. He's smiling, his cape in the middle of a flourish._  
_The second picture is of Loki, a photo released by the media, of his time on New York. His blue eyes and wicked smile are clearly the highlight of the picture._ ]

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

I know where you live.

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@godofmischief**_

Good. The door is open ;)

* * *

**_Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner_ **

Is Tony getting hacked or something???

_**War Machine Was Here @colrhodes in response to @brucebanner** _

We wish it was that.

____

_**Loki hugged me @standc** _

Tony flirting in public with Loki? I wish that were me

____

**_duck @duck_ **

i just came back from college and both twitter and tumblr are on fire what the fuck happened here

_**grass @grass** in response to **@duck**_

Tony Stark is being a chaotic bisexual and everything is chaos

_**duck @duck** in response to **@grass**_

i mean, mood

____

**_thunder thighs @thirstyforagod_ **

Tony thirsting after Thor is relatable

____

_**cj @charleyjay** _

in this house we love and support chaotic evil bisexual tony stark

____

**_Tony Stark can blast me any day @tonystarkfanacc_ **

Everyone in my class is freaking out, myself included

* * *

**_Tony @youknowwhoiam_ **

**_@brucebanner_** Can I thirst after you

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

Please don't???

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@brucebanner**_

Alrighty then

* * *

_**gammahammer @lizzyships** _

can we talk about tony asking bruce for permission to thirst after him because he knew it would make bruce uncomfortable otherwise??? ugh his mind

____

**_Danni @danni.vazquezz_ **

We love healthy friendships

____

**_SCREAMING INTENSIFIES @axel2143_ **

The Science Bros shippers are dying on Tumblr

____

**_cryptid | COMMISSIONS CLOSED @cryptidart_ **

THE TRENDING LIST OF TUMBLR IS FULL OF TONY SHIPS, I'M CRYING

____

**_Strongest Avenger @godofthunder_ **

**_@youknowwhoiam_** Thanks!!!

* * *

**tony stank > pink panther**

**tony stank:** Can I let the world know you have two boyfriends?

 **pink panther:** Are you going to thirst after them?

 **tony stank:** No

 **pink panther:** Go ahead.

* * *

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** _

Gee, _**@blackpanther!**_ How come your mom lets you have two boyfriends! Care for a third?

_**T'Challa @blackpanther** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

No.

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@blackpanther**_

Killjoy

* * *

_**Wakanda Forever @lakesssha** _

I'm sorry, T'Challa has TWO boyfriends????

____

_**Okoye @okoye** _

Finally the world can suffer with me.

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@okoye**_

same

____

_**partly broken @gogobebe** _

WHO ARE T'CHALLA'S BOYFRIENDS?????

____

**_Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996_ **

t'challa out here living the dream

____

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** _

PLEASE STOP ASKING ME WHO ARE MY BROTHER'S BOYFRIENDS, I'M TRYING TO REPRESS THAT MEMORY

____

**_Black Panthot @felicitystanacc_ **

_**@blackpanther**_ PLEASE THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW

_**T'Challa @blackpanther** in response to **@felicitystanacc**_

No.

____

**_Daily Mail Online @MailOnline_ **

King T'Challa of Wakanda has two boyfriends? Tony Stark and Princess Shuri's tweets seem to say so. [link]

____

**_Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedNews_ **

King T'Challa has two boyfriends and the world is rightfully losing it! With the announcement of Thor and Bruce Banner's relationship early this week, the world has a lot to say. [link]

* * *

**_Pepper Potts @peppervpotts_ **

Alright, that's it. **_@youknowwhoiam_** you're grounded. Go to your corner.

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@peppervpotts**_

This house is a fUCKING NIGHTMARE

* * *

**AVENGAYS**

**star spangled ass:** Is it over?

 **7 phds:** Pepper grounded Tony, so I'm guessing so

 **baby spider:** everyone is still losing it, so i would be careful if i were u

 **Jesus:** i can't believe stark broke everyone like this  
**Jesus:** want to break them more, babe?

 **star spangled ass:** ...  
**star spangled ass:** @boss ass bitch Can we?

 **boss ass bitch:** Thanks for asking me first.  
**boss ass bitch:** No.

 **Jesus:** aw man

* * *

**_Tony @youknowwhoiam_ **

I can't believe everyone is more focused on T'Challa than on my thirst tweets smh

_**T'Challa @blackpanther** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

I'm more important than you.

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@blackpanther**_

Bitch

* * *

**_Pepper Potts @peppervpotts_ **

The chaos finally ended.

[Attached: _A picture of Tony sleeping on a couch, cuddling an equally sleepy Morgan. They both seem to be illuminated by the glow of a TV. Morgan is also hugging a stuffed toy of War Machine._ ]

_**War Machine Was Here @colrhodes** in response to **@peppervpotts**_

I'm crying and I would die for Morgan.

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** in response to **@colrhodes**_

Thanks for putting my current mood in words.

* * *

**_Confused @bisexualdisaster_ **

this day was a roller-coaster but at least our queen blessed us with cute baby morgan

____

**_#sleepdeprived @tiredlesbian69_ **

this mess was worth it solely for that picture of tony being the best **#IronDad**

* * *

**_Flash @flashthompson2_ **

twitter isn't dying anymore, thank god

____

**_MJ @michelle_jones1_ **

Today was impossible to be on Twitter, holy fuck

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@michelle_jones1**_

ikr!!!! my app kept lagging kjfkjflkslkf

_**Guy in the chair @ned.leeds** in response to **@michelle_jones1** and **@peterbparker**_

Even entering the tags is laggy

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@peterbparker** and **@ned.leeds**_

The gays took over

* * *

**_Eugene Lee Yang can step on me @heyitsannie_ **

okay, but the rest of the avengers (and tchalla) didnt get angry at tony thirsting after them?????

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@heyitsannie**_

that's just stark being stark

____

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@heyitsannie**_

Nah, that's normal.

____

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** in response to **@heyitsannie**_

I do not mind!!!

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@heyitsannie** and **@godofthunder**_

Likewise.

____

_**T'Challa @blackpanther** in response to **@heyitsannie**_

He asked me beforehand.

____

**_Eugene Lee Yang can step on me @heyitsannie_ **

im crying but more importantly im stanning harder than ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the Endgame references


	4. friends in low places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> parkour: do you think we could be friends again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of suicidal thoughts and a suicide attempt.

**TWO NERDS AND THEIR BOSS**

**beter:** uuuuunhkhkhkgkjgffgk  
**beter:** kill meeeeeee

 **boss:** I'll gladly do it, but why

 **beter:** i have to bring flash his hw :(  
**beter:** all of his friends bailed on him and mrs h took me as sacrifice

 **needles:** His friends bailed on him????

 **beter:** yeah, it was so awkward  
**beter:** they made shitty excuses and everything????

 **boss:** Who would've thought that surrounding yourself with dicks would backfire

 **beter:** hm

 **needles:** Pete are you okay???

 **beter:** NO IM NOT  
**beter:** YES, FLASH IS A DICK, BUT HAVING UR FRIENDS BAIL ON U FOR SMTH AS BASIC AS BRINGING OVER SOME HW MUST FEEL AWFUL AF AND NOONE DESERVES THAT

 **boss:** Three seconds in, two out

 **beter:** im calm

 **needles:** Wait  
**needles:** Do we even know why Flash has been missing school?

 **boss:** Everyone just assumed he got sick and moved on

 **beter:** brb

 **boss:** Hm

* * *

**AVENGAYS**

**baby spider:** guys, im gonna use my monthly puppy eyes right

 **IronDad:** Oh?

 **mom spider:** What do you want, Pete?

 **Jesus:** what's the matter, squirt?

 **baby spider:** can any of u hack into the school records and look if one of my friends reported a medical leave????

 **IronDad:** I mean, sure, but  
**IronDad:** Don't you usually ask Ned for these things???

 **baby spider:** ned cant know

 **IronDad:** Alright then

 **mom spider:** Who are you tailing?

 **baby spider:** eugene thompson

 **Jesus:** back up

 **mom spider:** Eugene Thompson as in Flash Thompson as in the asshole that has been bullying you?

 **baby spider:** school records

 **mom spider:** Hm

 **IronDad:** You sure about this?

 **baby spider:** yes

 **IronDad:** Okay then

* * *

**TWO NERDS AND THEIR BOSS**

**beter:** he never reported a medical leave :)))))))

 **boss:** Peter, not to be an asshole, but why do you care

 **needles:** Honestly tho, Flash has been nothing but an asshole to you?????

 **beter:** he likes spiderman  
**beter:** he cant be that bad

 **boss:** Whatever

 **needles:** Why did you needed to know if he's on medical leave or not anyway

 **beter:** idk  
**beter:** i have a feeling smth is wrong  
**beter:** did none of u notice he barely spoke to anyone before disappearing from school???

 **boss:** Maybe they finally kicked him out of his friend group for being insufferable

 **beter:** mj

 **boss:** Fine  
**boss:** Do you need his address?

 **beter:** yeah

 **needles:** What are you even gonna do?

 **beter:** i have a plan

* * *

**_if she breathes @thotlandia_ **

Uh, guys? I just saw Spiderman enter the house of one of my neighbors????

[Attached: _A picture of Spiderman outside a window on the second floor of an expensive-looking house, a backpack on his back. He appeared to be talking to someone inside._ ]

_**trinity @holytrinity** in response to **@thotlandia**_

OMG WHAT!!!

____

_**You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@thotlandia**_

Who's house is that, anyway?

_**if she breathes @thotlandia** in response to **@spidermanfanacc**_

Uuuuuuuh, the Thompsons live here I think

_**You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@thotlandia**_

Doesn't ring a bell

____

**_You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc_ **

Hold oN I THINK I GOT IT. DOES ANYONE REMEMBER FLASH THOMPSON????

_**duck @duck** in response to **@spidermanfanacc**_

ugh i do

____

_**sicko mode @kassssssidy** in response to **@spidermanfanacc**_

no, who dat

____

_**Danni @danni.vazquezz** in response to **@spidermanfanacc**_

Who

____

**_You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc_ **

FLASH THOMPSON IS A FAN OF SPIDERMAN. I REMEMBER SEEING HIS NAME WHENEVER SPIDERMAN DID SOMETHING HERE ON TWITTER

 

> **_You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc_ **
> 
> WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM AND SPIDERMAN WENT TO CHECK ON HIM????
> 
> _**duck @duck** in response to **@spidermanfanacc**_
> 
> what makes this flash kid so important to get visited by spiderman himself, tho
> 
> _**You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@duck**_
> 
> What if Flash actually knows who's Spiderman or is close friends with him or something??
> 
> _**if she breathes @thotlandia** in response to **@spidermanfanacc** and **@duck**_
> 
> I think you guys are reaching too far with this
> 
> _**You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@duck** and **@thotlandia**_
> 
> Hmmm, maybe you're right

* * *

**_if she breathes @thotlandia_ **

NVM _**@spidermanfanacc**_ MAYBE YOU WERE RIGHT

[Attached: _A photo of the same window, except this time Spiderman is halfway outside while hugging another person who's inside the house. Everything that can be seen from the other person are their hands on Spiderman's back and a bundle of black curls on Spiderman's shoulder._ ]

_**You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@thotlandia**_

IS THIS PHOTO TAKEN JUST NOW??

_**if she breathes @thotlandia** in response to **@spidermanfanacc**_

YES. THEY WERE IN THERE FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS

_**You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@thotlandia**_

HOLY F U C K

* * *

**TWO NERDS AND THEIR BOSS**

**boss:** Are you serious?

 **needles:** You went to Flash's house as Spiderman?????

 **beter:** i knew he would be happy if he saw him

 **boss:** What the fuck happened there? You disappeared for two hours

 **beter:** guys its bad  
**beter:** he had a  
**beter:** ummmmm

 **boss:** What?

 **beter:** i dont feel comfortable talking about his mental health behind his back  
**beter:** he confided on spiderman, not me  
**beter:** i dont want him to feel worse than he already does because spiderman betrayed his trust or something like that

 **needles:** You're writing almost perfectly, so I know you're serious about this  
**needles:** Don't worry, we won't pray

 **boss:** Yeah

 **beter:** thx guys

 **boss:** Whatever

* * *

**flashlight > parkour**

**flashlight:** parker

 **parkour:** thompson

 **flashlight:** nerd  
**flashlight:** uh, did you really sent spiderman to my house to check on me???

 **parkour:** aw man, he told u?

 **flashlight:** yeah  
**flashlight:** why did you do that, tho

 **parkour:** if i said i was worried about u would u believe me

 **flashlight:** what

 **parkour:** um  
**parkour:** well, u havent been on school for two weeks and when mrs h asked ur friends to bring u ur hw they bailed on u and i had a feeling that smth was wrong so  
**parkour:** was i right?

 **flashlight:** uhmmmm  
**flashlight:** holy shit  
**flashlight:** okay then

 **parkour:** u alright?

 **flashlight:** you know what  
**flashlight:** fuck it  
**flashlight:** parker, you saved my life

 **parkour:** what?

 **flashlight:** i don't know if spiderman told you already or what but  
**flashlight:** i was actually planning on killing myself when he showed up  
**flashlight:** i had my dad's glock ready and everything. spiderman took it

 **parkour:** oh my god, flash

 **flashlight:** i don't know how the fuck, but you saved me  
**flashlight:** and, actually, why???  
**flashlight:** why the fuck were you even worried about me? i've been nothing but an asshole to you since we were twelve

 **parkour:** i know you arent that bad  
**parkour:** ...  
**parkour:** we used to be inseparable on elementary school  
**parkour:** what happened?

 **flashlight:** i was jealous of you

 **parkour:** um, what?

 **flashlight:** my parents loved you  
**flashlight:** and that was okay because i loved you too, you were my best and only friend  
**flashlight:** but then my parents started to prefer you and give you more attention whenever you were over and they started to ignore me even more  
**flashlight:** so i started to be mean to you so you wouldn't come over but then they started to pester me, asking me when you were coming over again or why you stopped coming and somehow not having you there made everything worse  
**flashlight:** so i started to took my anger out on you because you were an easy target and you're always so fucking nice and forgivable that you went after me anyway and it pissed me off so much that i actually started to hit you

 **parkour:** and thats when i stopped trying

 **flashlight:** yeah  
**flashlight:** fuck, i've been an asshole to you for so long and you still managed to know that something was wrong with me

 **parkour:** back then i also had the feeling that something was wrong, but anytime i tried to ask you shut me down and you were mean to me and i was so confused and sad because i couldnt help my best friend

 **flashlight:** you were always horribly kind

 **parkour:** flash... why did you have a gun with you?

 **flashlight:** fuck  
**flashlight:** you had to ask

 **parkour:** you dont have to tell me if you dont want

 **flashlight:** not now

 **parkour:** thats fine

 **flashlight:** ...  
**flashlight:** hey  
**flashlight:** thank you for saving me

 **parkour:** you dont have to thank me

 **flashlight:** but i do

 **parkour:** do you think we could be friends again?

 **flashlight:** ... yeah, i would like that

* * *

_**Flash @flashthompson2** _

why the fuck am i trending???

_**trinity @holytrinity** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

ARE YOU SPIDERMAN'S SECRET BOYFRIEND????

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@holytrinity**_

what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof  
> This was a heavy chapter to write 
> 
> I'm sorry for the change of tone, this was one of the things I had planned since before I even posted the fic, so it was really early on in the story 
> 
> This, personally, is one of my headcanons as to why Flash has this kind of hatred on Peter  
> And yes, I do plan on making Flash an awkward sweetheart, wow, you read my mind 
> 
> Next chapter we'll be back at our usual stupidity
> 
> And remember kids, never talk about someone else's mental health behind their backs without their explicit consent!


	5. gay awakenings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesus @buckybarnes in response to @fatimah_H
> 
> @youknowwhoiam you stole my answer
> 
> Tony @youknowwhoiam in response to @fatimah_H and @buckybarnes
> 
> Sucks to suck

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** _

wtf what is this about me having a secret boyfriend????

> **_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **
> 
> i cant leave u guys alone for one day
> 
> _**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_
> 
> i thought we had something :(((((
> 
> _**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_
> 
> sorry shuri, but u havent seen b99,,,,, i dont think i can love u
> 
> _**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_
> 
> damn, you would think that being a princess would be enough for you
> 
> _**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_
> 
> i need a king/queen, im too expensive for u to afford
> 
> _**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_
> 
> and this secret boyfriend of yours can afford you????
> 
> _**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_
> 
> if he can that means hes a fucking king in my eyes
> 
> _**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_
> 
> you're not denying to have a secret boyfriend
> 
> _**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_
> 
> bitch where the fuck did you go

* * *

**TWO NERDS AND THEIR BOSS**

**beter:** ppl think that flash is spiderman's secret bf

 **boss:** So we've seen

 **needles:** The internet is so weird man

 **beter:** what do i do

 **needles:** Wdym

 **beter:** flash is getting put in the middle of this

 **boss:** Do you think he doesn't want people to think he's Spiderman's secret boyfriend???  
**boss:** He's Flash, come on

* * *

**flashlight > parkour**

**flashlight:** people think i'm spiderman's secret boyfriend  
**flashlight:** what the fuck  
**flashlight:** i don't want this

* * *

**TWO NERDS AND THEIR BOSS**

**beter:** [ _screenshot.img_ ]  
**beter:** he doesnt

* * *

**parkour > flashlight**

**parkour:** wtf?

 **flashlight:** I KNOW???  
**flashlight:** is not like i would mind being spiderman's boyfriend but this is so weird????  
**flashlight:** today at school my old friend group tried to approach me because they thought i would give them a free pass to meet spidey or something????

 **parkour:** wtf thats horrible

 **flashlight:** right?!  
**flashlight:** this is so stupid

 **parkour:** man, people will eat up the first gossip to reach them if it involves a superhero :////  
**parkour:** how are u? does it make u uncomfortable?

 **flashlight:** i mean, kinda?  
**flashlight:** like, if spiderman wanted to date me i would be totally up, but people are trying to gain things from me because of that  
**flashlight:** bitch i'm a person too, i'm not my money nor my supposed relationship with a superhero, what the fuck

 **parkour:** that sucks man  
**parkour:** if u want i can talk to spiderman about it??

 **flashlight:** and tell him what

 **parkour:** idk, wdyw

 **flashlight:** it's impossible to understand what you type sometimes

 **parkour:** sorry  
**parkour:** i meant to say what do u want

 **flashlight:** what do i want spidey to do?

 **parkour:** yeah

 **flashlight:** i don't know man  
**flashlight:** hmmmmmmmmmmmm  
**flashlight:** fuck feelings

 **parkour:** oof, same

 **flashlight:** i don't know, whatever he wants, if he wants people to think we're dating or something that's fine by me only if i get to live in a bunker

 **parkour:** damn, can i join u

 **flashlight:** no, fuck off, get your own bunker

 **parkour:** :(

 **flashlight:** whatever  
**flashlight:** if you talk to him just tell me what he says, i have homework to catch up on

 **parkour:** do u need help?

 **flashlight:** nah it's fine

 **parkour:** okay

* * *

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

smh you think you have something solid with someone and then they get an actual boyfriend

* * *

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** _

_**@spiderman** _So. You got yourself a boyfriend and didn't tell us.

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@captainamerica**_

JFLHLHKKI MR ROGERS WHY

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@spiderman**_

I hope you're using protection, son.

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@captainamerica**_

WHY ARE U DOING THIS ON TWITTER

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@spiderman**_

I'm worried about you! Young kids these days are more careless about protection.

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@captainamerica**_

u grew up in the 20' and 30'

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@spiderman**_

Details.

* * *

**_You've yee'd your last haw @spidermanfanacc_ **

Did Cap just call Spiderman a "young kid"????

____

**_SWINGING BOTH WAYS @spideyfan_ **

How fucking young does someone have to be to be called young kid by Steve "I'm basically 100 years old" Rogers?

_**Smithsonian Fossil @barbecye** in response to **@spideyfan**_

Young.

____

**duck @duck**

how fucking young is spiderman???

* * *

**AVENGAYS**

**baby spider:** mr rogers whyyyyyyy

 **star spangled ass:** I apologize. I didn't think people would look that much into that word.

 **IronDad:** Welcome to the internet, cap

 **Jesus:** uh oh, peps is angry with you babe

 **star spangled ass:** Aw man.

 **boss ass bitch:** What the hell, Steve?

 **star spangled ass:** It wasn't on purpose. :(

 **boss ass bitch:** I know it wasn't, but this is exactly why you think twice before posting anything on social media. Tony's stunt last week almost broke Twitter.

 **IronDad:** Whoops

 **boss ass bitch:** And Peter! Secret boyfriend?

 **baby spider:** i dont have a secret bf!  
**baby spider:** someone took a photo of me when i was entering flash house and everyone took it waaaaaay out of place

 **boss ass bitch:** That's another thing! Why were you going to one of your classmates' house as Spiderman?

 **baby spider:** i dont feel comfortable talking about that without his permission

 **boss ass bitch:** You guys are the reason of my grey hairs and I have a five year old at home.

 **star spangled ass:** Sorry, Pepper. :(

 **baby spider:** sorry :((

 **IronDad:** That was the longest sigh I ever heard

 **boss ass bitch:** There's nothing to be done with Steve's comment. Peter, do you feel comfortable letting the public know Spiderman is a teenager or do you want me to handle it?

 **baby spider:** uhhhhh can u handle it???  
**baby spider:** if people know im a teenager theres going to be a lot of speculations and my whole school might be put in danger

 **boss ass bitch:** Sure.  
**boss ass bitch:** And what are you going to do with the secret boyfriend?

 **baby spider:** ill handle it

 **boss ass bitch:** You sure?

 **baby spider:** yep

 **boss ass bitch:** Alright then.  
**boss ass bitch:** And no, Bucky, not outing your relationship with Steve. Not yet, please. PR is dying.

 **Jesus:** only because you asked so nicely

 **boss ass bitch:** Thank you.  
**boss ass bitch:** Is there anyone else wanting to reduce my life span today?

 **flying dumbass:** Uh, yes, me  
**flying dumbass:** Clint broke the fridge

 **merida:** fuck you

 **boss ass bitch:** Not even Morgan causes this much trouble.

* * *

_**Avengers Initiative @Avengers** _

Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries, will hold a press conference tomorrow at 9 a.m EST regarding comments about Spider-Man. **#avengers #spiderman**

* * *

**_Pepper Potts pls love me @pepperpottsfan_ **

You guys better watch my wife kick ass on that press conference

____

**_Jared, 19 @whatupimj_ **

If Spiderman gets confirmed to be a teenager or something I'm breaking something

____

**_Danni @danni.vazquezz_ **

That press conference is going to be fun

* * *

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

okay guys, gather around, is time for me to tell the truth ive been hiding from u

> **_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **
> 
> i dont have a secret bf lol
> 
> **_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **
> 
> i dont want to be on a romantic relationship, anyway, not for a while. i dont want to put anyone in danger
> 
> **_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **
> 
> i have a secret identity bc i dont want to put my family and friends at risk. bad guys would hurt anyone just to get to me
> 
> **_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **
> 
> and having a bf/gf is definitely, DEFINITELY, out of the question for that exact reason
> 
> **_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **
> 
> lets be real, if my identity is still a secret is because mr stark and the rest of the avengers are my impulse control lmao, i wouldnt be capable of hiding a partner
> 
> **_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **
> 
> mainly because i would talk about them all the time
> 
> **_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **
> 
> so thats that. i dont have a secret bf. please stop harassing flash with questions
> 
> **_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **
> 
> and, btw, flash is a close friend. hurt him and ill hurt u. thanks for ur attention!!!!

* * *

_**Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc** _

Spiderman can switch between being a sweetheart and a badass in just a sentence. I'm in love

____

**_SWINGING BOTH WAYS @spideyfan_ **

I want to punch anyone that ever THINKS of hurting Spiderman's friends or family just to get to him

**Eugene Lee Yang can step on me @heyitsannie**

rt

**Danni @danni.vazquezz**

rt

**bow to me, you peasants @shuri**

rt

**Witchy on Main @scarlet.witch**

rt

**Loki @godofmischief**

rt

**Tony @youknowwhoiam**

rt

**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica**

rt

* * *

**flashlight > parkour**

**flashlight:** thank fucking god that ended

 **parkour:** ur hw or the secret bf thing???

 **flashlight:** both

 **parkour:** im just glad nobody tried to hurt u bc of that rumor  
**parkour:** or anyone at school

 **flashlight:** i knoooooow  
**flashlight:** i was so stressed out thinking someone was going to kidnap me or something, wtf

 **parkour:** are u going to be alright???

 **flashlight:** yup  
**flashlight:** my dad has been losing it all morning because of the rumors  
**flashlight:** good news, dad, spiderman didn't turn me gay, i was already gay af

 **parkour:** fucking mood  
**parkour:** hey  
**parkour:** ned, mj and i were going to the movies, wanna come?

 **flashlight:** which movie are you going to watch

 **parkour:** detective pikachu

 **flashlight:** sure, tell me which cinema

* * *

**TWO NERDS AND THEIR BOSS**

**boss:** Hey, Peter

 **beter:** yeah?

 **boss:** I want to apologize

 **beter:** ????  
**beter:** y

 **boss:** I feel like I've been kind of an asshole to you with the whole Flash situation and you don't deserve that so  
**boss:** Sorry  
**boss:** I'll try to pull my head out of my ass

 **beter:** mj!!!! i never felt like u were being mean to me!!!!

 **boss:** That's because you're as forgiving as a puppy

 **beter:** altho ill apologize in advance to both u and ned

 **boss:** ... You didn't

 **beter:** maybe i did

 **boss:** You're so lucky you're my friend

 **beter:** love u 2!!!!

 **boss:** Ugh, feelings

* * *

**_Fatimah @fatimah_H_ **

Unrelated but now I'm curious, who do you guys think was the gay awakening for the queer Avengers we know of???

____

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@fatimah_H**_

mine was thor!!!!

____

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@fatimah_H**_

My physics professor at high school.

____

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** in response to **@fatimah_H**_

Can't remember, sorry! :(

____

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@fatimah_H**_

You keep track of that? 

____

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@fatimah_H**_

Steve "dumbass" Rogers

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@fatimah_H** and **@youknowwhoiam**_

Really???

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@fatimah_H** and **@captainamerica**_

A lot of my hate for you might have been sexual frustration from my teen years

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@fatimah_H** and **@youknowwhoiam**_

Huh.

____

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@fatimah_H**_

_**@youknowwhoiam**_ you stole my answer

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@fatimah_H** and **@buckybarnes**_

Sucks to suck

* * *

**_trinity @holytrinity_ **

ARE MY EYES DECEIVING ME OR DID BUCKY JUST ADMIT THAT CAP WAS HIS GAY AWAKENING?????

____

**_SCREAMING INTENSIFIES @axel2143_ **

WHAT????

____

**_Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996_ **

both tony and bucky had their gay awakening thanks to cap? fuck, do i get to join the club?

____

**_PAIN.gif @capholtonmain_ **

DO THE AVENGERS ENJOY TO SEE ME SUFFERING LIKE THIS?!?!?!

____

**_gammahammer @lizzyships_ **

MY STUCKY. MY STUCKY IS RISING

____

**_thunder thighs @thirstyforagod_ **

_**@**_ Spiderman having his gay awakening thanks to Thor

[Attached: _bitchmetoothefuck.gif_ ]

____

**_STUCKY FANGIRL @cammyscreams_ **

MY OTP IS SAILING GUYS. I FEEL SO BLESSED ON THIS CHILI'S TONIGHT

* * *

**AVENGAYS**

**boss ass bitch:** BUCKY!

 **Jesus:** you said no outing our relationship, you said nothing about outing myself!

 **boss ass bitch:** I'm so tired of you guys.

 **star spangled ass:** Can we...?  
**star spangled ass:** I want to go to dates with Bucky without having to check my shoulder all the time. :(

 **boss ass bitch:** @IronDad you better take me on a vacation with Morgan after the press conference tomorrow.

 **IronDad:** Consider it done

 **boss ass bitch:** Go ahead.

* * *

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@fatimah_H**_

Bucky was my gay awakening.

* * *

**_gammahammer @lizzyships_ **

OMG OMG OMG

____

**_STUCKY FANGIRL @cammyscreams_ **

I'M CRYING. I'M LEGITIMATELY CRYING

____

**_cryptid | COMMISSIONS CLOSED @cryptidart_ **

EVERYTHING HURTS

____

**_SCREAMING INTENSIFIES @axel2143_ **

DID WE JUST GOT A CONFIRMATION OR?????

____

**_PAIN.gif @capholtonmain_ **

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS

* * *

**_Captain Popsicle @captainamerica_ **

Thanks for being my gay awakening, my love. I couldn't ask for someone better. ❤ _**@buckybarnes**_

[Attached: _A picture that seems to be a selfie, focusing on Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. They're kissing in the picture, their eyes closed and smiles clearly visible. Bucky has his hands on Steve's face, while Steve seems to be hugging Bucky with the arm he's not using to take the picture. There's a TV in the background, the frame frozen and the animated feet of a frog being the only thing visible of it._ ]

_**Jesus @buckybarnes** in response to **@captainamerica**_

thank you for being mine. I love you, punk ❤

_**Captain Popsicle @captainamerica** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

I love you too so much. Till the end of the line, jerk.

* * *

**AVENGAYS**

**merida:** YOU GUYS BROKE TWITTER

 **mom spider:** It officially became impossible to be on Twitter. Good job, guys

 **Jesus:** i honestly can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not

 **mom spider:** Good

 **Salem Witch:** Vis and i just came back and you guys already broke Twitter????

 **7 phds:** This is exactly why I don't live in the compound anymore

 **flying dumbass:** I'm exhausted

 **Rhodent:** I'm so happy I don't have to babysit you anymore.

 **7 phds:** Likewise

* * *

**_Jonah @jonahwithanh_ **

Okay, so let's recap: Spiderman denied the rumors about his boyfriend, **#Stucky** broke Twitter and Pepper just confirmed that Spiderman is over 20

> _**Jonah @jonahwithanh** _
> 
> All this in the span of 12 hours
> 
> _**Jonah @jonahwithanh** _
> 
> My admiration for Pepper Potts just went off the roofs
> 
> _**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@jonahwithanh**_
> 
> Same

* * *

**salt > tony stank**

**salt:** I want to go to Cartagena.

 **tony stank:** Sure thing

* * *

**AVENGAYS**

**boss ass bitch:** You're on your own.

 **merida:** oh shit

 **regular sized man:** okay... how soon are we going to die???

 **Jesus:** really soon

 **regular sized man:** oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been updating this fic almost daily  
> Yikes   
> This is how you get burnout 
> 
> In a different note, can you guys suggest a pairing with Sam? I only ship him with Steve and I want him to be happy here, lmao


	6. sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes
> 
> the marathon was my idea lol
> 
> Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon in response to @buckybarnes
> 
> And your stupid name was who's idea?
> 
> Steve Barnes @captainamerica in response to @buckybarnes and @THEfalcon
> 
> Mine.
> 
> Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon in response to @buckybarnes and @captainamerica
> 
> I'm so tired of you guys

_**wlw warrior @wlw_warrior** _

Scarlet Witch is fighting some dude outside the bakery I'm in and she seems particularly mad at him?

> **_wlw warrior @wlw_warrior_ **
> 
> SHE JUST THREW HIM INSIDE AN OPEN TRUCK AND APOLOGIZED TO THE OWNER
> 
> **_wlw warrior @wlw_warrior_ **
> 
> Why is she so mad at him in particular KJFLKSLKFLKALS
> 
> **_wlw warrior @wlw_warrior_ **
> 
> Okay, the dude just got arrested and Wanda told the truck owner that Stark Industries would help him with anything he needs help with? She's so nice
> 
> **_wlw warrior @wlw_warrior_ **
> 
> The truck owner is crying aw :(
> 
> _**wlw warrior @wlw_warrior** _
> 
> She left with the truck owner and I'm still wondering why was she so mad at the bad guy, like wth
> 
> _**wlw warrior @wlw_warrior** _
> 
> But I didn't tell you the important part: she looked so hot

* * *

_**Witchy on Main @scarlet.witch** _

The guy interrupted our TWD marathon, that's why I was so mad

> **_Witchy on Main @scarlet.witch_ **
> 
> And! The truck owner is Garry. He's going to work for Stark Industries now at his request :)!

* * *

_**duck @duck** _

the avengers were having a twd marathon???

____

**_Have you seen my wife? @scarletwitchfan_ **

Wanda is gorgeous, kind and powerful. In conclusion, she's perfect

____

_**SCALDING HOT TEA @littleteacup** _

i wonder who's idea was to have a twd marathon

_**SWINGING BOTH WAYS @spideyfan** in response to **@littleteacup**_

Tbh I can't tell because I can see literally anyone requesting a TWD marathon

____

**_Carrot @carriecarrot_ **

are they watching the show to enjoy it or to make fun of it???

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@carriecarrot**_

after glenn died we started to make fun of it lol

**_Carrot @carriecarrot_ ** _in response to **@spiderman**_

as it should be

____

**_Danni @danni.vazquezz_ **

We still don't know who's idea was to have a marathon

* * *

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

the marathon was my idea lol

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

And your stupid name was who's idea?

_**Steve Barnes @captainamerica** in response to **@buckybarnes** and **@THEfalcon**_

Mine.

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@buckybarnes** and **@captainamerica**_

I'm so tired of you guys

* * *

**_Original Bird Avenger @hawkeye_ **

i can, without a doubt, say that steve and bucky weren't watching shit even though this was their idea

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@hawkeye**_

MY idea

_**Original Bird Avenger @hawkeye** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

you're insufferable, you know that?

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@hawkeye**_

so i've been told

_**Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby** in response to **@hawkeye** and **@buckybarnes**_

Babies, the both of you

_**Original Bird Avenger @hawkeye** in response to **@buckybarnes** and **@blackwidowbaby**_

shut up nat

* * *

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

we had to stop the marathon because clint and nat started fighting

_**black widow can kill me and i'd thank her @blackwindow** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

??? are they okay???

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@blackwindow**_

lol yes they are, this is really normal

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

okay, they stopped, marathon continued

____

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

mr stark stopped the marathon bc there was a rlly gory scene playing and morgan wanted to watch tv with us

____

**_Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon_ **

So now we're watching the Toy Story trilogy

_**Steve Barnes @captainamerica** in response to **@THEfalcon**_

I'm okay with this upgrade.

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@THEfalcon** and **@captainamerica**_

fun fact: stevie HATES horror movies and shows

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@buckybarnes** and **@captainamerica**_

TWD isn't even that bad, the hell

_**Steve Barnes @captainamerica** in response to **@THEfalcon** and **@buckybarnes**_

You two need to shut the fuck up.

____

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

lmao mr stark just sent mr wilson, mr rogers and bucky the dirtiest look ever bc they were on their phones

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@spiderman**_

why am i only bucky and not mr barnes or some shit?

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

[Attached: _icantread_mariahcarey.gif_ ]

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@spiderman**_

bitch

* * *

**_gammahammer @lizzyships_ **

the avengers watching toy story with morgan is such a cute thing omg

____

**_cryptid | COMMISSIONS CLOSED @cryptidart_ **

My muse just came back at me and slapped me in the face because of this, omg

____

**_#sleepdeprived @tiredlesbian69_ **

morgan has such a cute super family, my heart is melting

____

**_Eugene Lee Yang can step on me @heyitsannie_ **

raise your hand if you too want to be part of a toy story marathon with the avengers

* * *

**_Stark Industries @StarkIndustries_ **

Congratulations to all mothers! We'll be waiting for you at Stark Tower for our annual Mother's Day event today at 9 p.m **#mothersday #StarkEvents**

* * *

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** _

And before all of you clog my Twitter with questions- yes, SOME of the Avengers will be attending

____

**_Pepper Potts @peppervpotts_ **

I hope this year's event is as good as the last one. I really enjoyed it. ❤

____

**_Pepper Potts pls love me @pepperpottsfan_ **

If anyone even THINKS about ruining this event I'm going to kick their asses with my wheelchair, I swear to God

____

**_Steve Barnes @captainamerica_ **

Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there. You're doing an amazing job raising our future generations!

* * *

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

everyone else left to get ready for the event and its just us (and loki just came and joined us lol)

[Attached: _A selfie taken from Spiderman's perspective. Half of his face is cut off, and he's doing a peace sign with his free hand. Behind him there can be seen Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Scott and Loki._  
 _Bucky is grabbing Wanda's face and they're both making silly faces, while Scott is making bunnies at Vision's head and apparently screaming at his ear, even though Vision seems to be quite unaffected by it._  
 _Loki is sitting on his own chair, his body spread on it and his legs dangling off the armrest. He has his hand on his face, apparently hiding his laughter._ ]

_**Loki hugged me @standc** in response to **@spiderman**_

Is thAT A HAPPY LOKI I'M SEEING?????

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@standc**_

happy boy

[Attached: _A more close-up picture of Loki. This time his face is uncovered, his hands on his belly while he appears to be laughing heavily. Bucky can be seen in the floor next to him, almost doubling himself in laughter and apparently in the middle of hitting the ground with his human arm._ ]

_**Loki hugged me @standc** in response to **@spiderman**_

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS BLESSING

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@spiderman** and **@standc**_

Bitch, my reputation.

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@standc** and **@godofmischief**_

y is everyone calling me a bitch today? :(

____

_**Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@spiderman**_

Okay, but why are Loki and Bucky laughing so hard?

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@spidermanfanacc**_

exactly after i took the photo vision phased and mr lang fell to the floor face first, i was shaking so much i almost couldnt take the photo of loki laughing

_**Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@spiderman**_

Okay, just imagining that made me laugh

_**Lang @itsantman** in response to **@spiderman** and **@spidermanfanacc**_

it wasn't funny for me :(

* * *

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

loki has never seen titanic so now we're watching that

> **_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **
> 
> we're one and a half hour in and i'm already so bored. this movie is so hetero
> 
> **_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **
> 
> loki loved the drama, but he has joined the exclusive club of "there was enough space on the damn door, rose"

____

_**Lang @itsantman** _

titanic always makes me cry

_**Van Dyne @itsthewasp** in response to **@itsantman**_

???? You know you can't watch Titanic

_**Lang @itsantman** in response to **@itsthewasp**_

BUT IT'S SUCH A GOOD MOVIE, HOPE

_**Van Dyne @itsthewasp** in response to **@itsantman**_

One word about Titanic tomorrow and I'm leaving you there

_**Lang @itsantman** in response to **@itsthewasp**_

thanks for the love

____

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

LOKI AND WANDA ARE RECREATING THE DOOR SCENE

[Attached: _A picture in what appears to be an indoors pool. In the middle of it it's a door with Wanda and Loki on top of it, side by side, and both of them are on swimsuits. Bucky is on the other side of the pool, also taking a picture, and Scott is squatting while facing the camera and doing a double peace sign. Vision's back can be seen on the edge of the pool, where he's sitting._ ]

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@spiderman**_

Where did you get that door

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

loki brought it

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@spiderman**_

... Where did Loki get that door

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

idk

* * *

**_duck @duck_ **

all of them are children omg

____

_**Midnight Cinderella @fairythot** _

I'm in love with this squad

____

**_Eugene Lee Yang can step on me @heyitsannie_ **

THEY REALLY ARE CHILDREN, IM CRYING

____

**_Fatimah @fatimah_H_ **

Whose idea was to leave them unsupervised, omg

* * *

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

SHURI JOINED THE CHAT

[Attached: _A picture of all of them squatting, Shuri and Spiderman in the center. Bucky and Scott are on a table, while Vision and Loki are in the back of a couch and Wanda is using her powers to float. All of them are wearing a dragon onesie, the colors of each one matching each person, and Spiderman is seemingly wearing his on top of his suit._ ]

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@spiderman**_

WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE ONESIES

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

shuri got them on the way here!!!!

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@spiderman**_

I hope you aren't destroying my living room

* * *

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

[Attached: _A picture of Bucky and Scott squaring up against each other. The rest of the gang can be seen cheering on the background, and Vision has some money on his hand._ ]

____

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

mr rogers came and interrupted the fight :(

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

i really wanted to win that fight :(((

* * *

**_PAIN.gif @capholtonmain_ **

I'M IN LOVE WITH THIS HAHAHAHAHA

____

**_if she breathes @thotlandia_ **

DID THEY SEND CAP TO CHECK ON THEM AND TELL THEM TO BEHAVE????

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@thotlandia**_

they did :(

_**if she breathes @thotlandia** in response to **@spiderman**_

I'M CRYING OMG

____

**_SHE'S A THOT @princessthotof_ **

I was sad because of mother's day but this gang of idiots really brightened my day

* * *

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** _

now that steve told us to behave (betrayal), we're watching nature documentaries while drinking vodka. shuri and spidey are complaining because they can't drink

_**Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

Wait, I thought Spiderman was over 20?

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@buckybarnes** and **@spidermanfanacc**_

i have classes tomorrow :(

_**Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@buckybarnes** and **@spiderman**_

Understandable, have a nice day

____

**_Loki @godofmischief_ **

Vodka tastes awful.

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@godofmischief**_

you haven't tasted tequila

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

And I'm not sure if I want to.

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@godofmischief**_

smart boy

____

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

were watching a documentary about cuttlefishes and loki is so invested in them omg

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@spiderman**_

They're magnificent creatures.

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@spiderman** and **@godofmischief**_

quick, someone show him a chameleon

_**Smithsonian Fossil @barbecye** in response to **@spiderman** , **@godofmischief** and **@shuri**_

[Attached: _A 15 seconds video of a chameleon changing colors._ ]

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@spiderman**_ , _**@shuri** and **@barbecye**_

WHAT.

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@godofmischief** , **@shuri** and **@barbecye**_

YOU BROKE HIM

____

_**Lang @itsantman** _

lol we're taking loki to a zoo next friday

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

man, it sucks to not be able to get drunk

_**Steve Barnes @captainamerica** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

You get used to it. :/

____

**_Witchy on Main @scarlet.witch_ **

Loki is finally functioning again

____

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

is it normal to have an urge to adopt them all?

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@shuri**_

Sadly, yes

* * *

**_Carrot @carriecarrot_ **

i'm with my mom at the mother's day event and i really don't know where to look because lady gaga is singing but this squad is making part of my night

____

**_sicko mode @kassssssidy_ **

this event really glowed compared to last year, and last year's event was already top notch

____

**_Maggie @maggie_lance_ **

THEY'RE PROJECTING THE TWEETS BEHIND LADY GAGA, I'M SCREAMING

* * *

**parkour > tony stank**

**parkour:** MR STARK, LOKI MADE A BED APPEAR ON YOUR LIVING ROOM

**tony stank:** What

* * *

 

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** _

I'm so glad they worn themselves out.

[Attached: _A picture of the whole gang sleeping on an Alaska King Bed, all of them still wearing the dragon onesies. The face of one of them, maybe Spiderman, is blurred out. Wanda and Vision are cuddling in one end, Loki sleeping next to them face-up and Scott cuddling him. Spiderman is next to Scott, sleeping on his side and using one of Bucky's arms as a pillow, Bucky spread out in the bed. Shuri is on the other end of the bed, using Bucky as a pillow._ ]

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@peppervpotts**_

I'm going to use this photo to ignore the fact that there's a door on my pool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guys tell that Loki is my favorite character  
> Who's your favorite Marvel character?
> 
> Also, happy mother's day!!


	7. im trying to hide my secret identity but flash is gay for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve Barnes @captainamerica
> 
> @buckybarnes What prompted that tweet?
> 
> Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes in response to @captainamerica
> 
> i was thinking about eggplants
> 
> Steve Barnes @captainamerica in response to @buckybarnes
> 
> ... What the fuck, Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the fairly long wait, considering my previous updating speed  
> It honestly can happen again, but I swear is not on purpose

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** _

today im training w/ ALL of the avengers individually!!!!! im scared

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@spiderman**_

why are you scared??

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

im gonna train with thor individually and the gay part of my brain isnt going to function. also, mr rogers has been super into catching up w/ memes lately and thats even scarier

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@spiderman**_

lol rip

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

ur support means so much to me

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@spiderman**_

lol ❤

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

:( ❤

* * *

**_Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc_ **

Spidey is training with the Avengers and I'm not sure if I should feel proud or scared for him

____

_**I don't speak to managers @karen_matthh** _

I so hope someone live tweets the trainings

____

_**gammahammer @lizzyships** _

that exchange between spidey and flash is literally me and my friends

____

**_thunder thighs @thirstyforagod_ **

Every time Spiderman talks about his crush on Thor I feel so represented because fucking same

____

**_Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996_ **

cap is catching up on memes, im crying

* * *

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

shuri and i are going to be live tweeting whatever interesting thing that happens

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

training with you guys sounds so interesting in theory but i always forget all of you are a bunch of boring old farts

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@shuri**_

that's not way to talk to your elders

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

idc

* * *

**_howdy bitch @jesseen_ **

it's been two hours, where are our updates? _**@buckybarnes** **@shuri**_

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@jesseen**_

he trained with the boring ones first

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@jesseen** and **@buckybarnes**_

boring ones meaning stark, my brother, nat (pls don't kill me) and strange

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@jesseen** and **@shuri**_

the most interesting thing to happen on those was spidey catapulting nat to a ceiling

* * *

_**Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby** _

_**@shuri** _I heard you were talking shit about me?

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@blackwidowbaby**_

i would apologize but your training round was honestly really boring

_**Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby** in response to **@shuri**_

We're training, not giving you meme material

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@blackwidowbaby**_

tragic

____

**_black widow can kill me and i'd thank her @blackwindow_ **

i need that footage of nat being catapulted to a ceiling for extremely non-gay reasons

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@blackwindow**_

you didn't get this from me

[Attached _: A video being taken from above, through what seems to be an observational area. Spiderman can be seen swinging into frame, some splashes of paint on his suit, kneeling besides Black Widow and pointing to the ceiling. Their voices can't be heard, but Black Widow can be seen nodding once before backing up away from frame._  
 _Spiderman webbed up some things from the ceiling before putting his hands in front of him, just in time for Black Widow to step on them after running towards him. Spiderman catapulted her to the ceiling and the camera followed her, Black Widow landing on the catwalk before taking out her gun and shooting to some automatic guns attached to the wall, visibly webbed up._  
 _A soft "holy shit" can be heard before the video ends._ ]

_**black widow can kill me and i'd thank her @blackwindow** in response to **@shuri**_

thank you for my life, my princess

____

**_SWINGING BOTH WAYS @spideyfan_ **

Why is there paint on Spiderman's suit?

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@spideyfan**_

they're using paintball guns. not as deadly but still hurts like a bitch

____

**_Shower singer @tailored_prince_ **

**_@buckybarnes_ **who would win a paintball game between all of you?

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@tailored_prince**_

uh, probably clint

_**Original Bird Avenger @hawkeye** in response to **@tailored_prince** and **@buckybarnes**_

correction, DEFINITELY me

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@tailored_prince** and **@hawkeye**_

shut the fuck up

____

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

bucky shot clint with a paintball gun lmao

* * *

**_Tony @youknowwhoiam_ **

We had to stop the trainings because Clint and Bucky started a paintball war

_**howdy bitch @jesseen** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

who won?

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@jesseen**_

Clint, and he won't shut up about it so he's next

* * *

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

clint joined the boring old farts club, disappointing

_**Original Bird Avenger @hawkeye** in response to **@shuri**_

it was a STEALTH training, what was i supposed to do???

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@hawkeye**_

not being boring

* * *

**_Carrot @carriecarrot_ **

i honestly am disappointed in the lack of bullshittery that has been happening

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@carriecarrot**_

ikr?

____

**_SWINGING BOTH WAYS @spideyfan_ **

I'm so happy there's nothing ridiculous happening, that means Spidey is learning

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to @spideyfan_

Finally someone who gets it

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

yes, guys, we're aware that this is serious training, blah blah blah, doesn't mean it can't be funny

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

You're next

* * *

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

my favorite broken white guy never disappoints

[Attached: _A video being taken from the same position as before. Bucky and Spiderman are in the middle of a hand to hand combat against four clones of Dr. Strange when suddenly Bucky grabs Spiderman by his suit, spinning him around twice before throwing him against two of the clones. Shuri can be heard laughing while the camera shakes slightly, and what seems to be Tony's voice can be heard muttering "I'm so tired of him" before the video ends._ ]

_**Danni @danni.vazquezz** in response to **@shuri**_

Please tell me he said yeet

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@shuri** and **@danni.vazquezz**_

of course i said yeet, who do you take me for?

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

we still finished our training on record time :)

* * *

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

there isn't gonna be any videos from sam, wanda, vision and rhodey's training rounds because those are outside and i'm not allowed to film them

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@shuri**_

definitely a tragedy, now that i remember spidey latching onto the colonel that time on the airport

_**War Machine Was Here @colrhodes** in response to **@shuri** and **@buckybarnes**_

There's not going to be a repeat from that.

* * *

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

there was a repeat, lmao

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

I swear that kid has no regards for his physical condition and it's driving me crazy

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

calm down, mama bear, the kid knows what he's doing

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

I never said he didn't, but he does tend to not care about his possible injuries

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

okay, i'll give you that

____

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

i'm so sad i couldn't film anything because the training rounds with the flying guys were the coolest ones so far

_**howdy bitch @jesseen** in response to **@shuri**_

which one was the coolest?

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@jesseen**_

sam's, because spidey kept using his drone to escape or for flying attacks and it was super cool

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@shuri** and **@jesseen**_

I'm pleasantly surprised

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@jesseen** and **@THEfalcon**_

i'm already imagining some ways to upgrade your drone so it can work better with spidey, are you interested?

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@jesseen** and **@shuri**_

As long as I get to choose the design

____

**_Fatimah @fatimah_H_ **

Even though this isn't as chaotic as I expected, is so interesting to read what's happening

____

**_Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc_ **

Using Falcon's drones like that is such a cool mental image

* * *

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

lmao is thor's turn and spidey is super rigid

____

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

he's moving so awkwardly, somebody save this smol bisexual mess

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

HE JUST FACEPLANTED AGAINST A WALL BECAUSE HE WAS STARING AT THOR'S ASS AND BRUCE JUST SAID "SAME"

____

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

i'm going to tease him so much for this

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

everyone is laughing at him lmao assholes

_**Steve Barnes @captainamerica** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

You're also laughing?

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@captainamerica**_

yes, but he gave me permission

* * *

**_thunder thighs @thirstyforagod_ **

To be fair, who wouldn't freeze in front of Thor?

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@thirstyforagod**_

I know of someone that doesn't freeze. Quite the opposite, really.

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@thirstyforagod** and **@godofmischief**_

LOKI.

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@thirstyforagod** and **@brucebanner**_

Don't eat my brownies again. :)

____

**_He gave me permission @soarin_flyin_ **

bucky, shuri and spiderman's friendship is everything I didn't know I needed

____

**_SCREAMING INTENSIFIES @axel2143_ **

Bucky seems like such a millennial but he was literally born in 1917

_**Carrot @carriecarrot** in response to **@axel2143**_

shut up

____

_**PAIN.gif @capholtonmain** in response to **@axel2143**_

I got whiplash from this tweet.

____

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@axel2143**_

i want to fit in :(

* * *

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

we're taking a small break to let spidey breath after that round with thor

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

i was panicking the whole time! hes so handsome!!!!

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

you're such an useless bisexual

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

since the doctor is both bruce and hulk, does that mean that thor has two boyfriends?

_**gammahammer @lizzyships** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

... yes???

____

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

holy shit

____

_**thunder thighs @thirstyforagod** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

Holy shit, Thor is a monster fucker

_**duck @duck** in response to **@buckybarnes** and **@thirstyforagod**_

WHY DID YOU PHRASE IT LIKE THAT

____

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** _

Yes! I do have two boyfriends whom I love so much!

_**Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby** in response to **@godofthunder**_

Bruce is blushing so much, lol

____

**_Steve Barnes @captainamerica_ **

**_@buckybarnes_ **What prompted that tweet?

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@captainamerica**_

i was thinking about eggplants

_**Steve Barnes @captainamerica** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

... What the fuck, Bucky.

* * *

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

aw, scott had to leave :(

_**Carrot @carriecarrot** in response to **@shuri**_

???? why

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@carriecarrot**_

date night with his bae

____

**_Van Dyne @itsthewasp_ **

Can you guys stop tweeting me? I'm not dating Scott, and I'm also in the middle of a meeting

_**Danni @danni.vazquezz** in response to **@itsthewasp**_

Wait, what

____

**_SCALDING HOT TEA @littleteacup_ **

to be honest, one of the biggest surprises today was knowing that scott and hope aren't together

> **_SCALDING HOT TEA @littleteacup_ **
> 
> they have matching names on here and on instagram, wtf
> 
> _**Lang @itsantman** in response to **@littleteacup**_
> 
> to be fair those were my daughter's idea
> 
> _**SCALDING HOT TEA @littleteacup** in response to **@itsantman**_
> 
> you have a daughter????

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

we're not telling who's scott's bae because his bae has dirt on me and they already threatened me to keep my mouth shut

_**He gave me permission @soarin_flyin** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

what if someone else told the world?

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@soarin_flyin**_

they would still tell what they have on me and i'm not risking it

* * *

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

so, with scott out (rip), is only bruce and steve left

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

steve is insisting on going last and i'm really suspicious

_**Steve Barnes @captainamerica** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

;)

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@captainamerica**_

don't wink at me like that if is not to suck my dick

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@buckybarnes** and **@captainamerica**_

Bucky what the FUCK

____

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

pepper has both hands occupied holding morgan, but she wants me to tell you all that bucky is grounded

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@shuri**_

Idiot deserves it after scarring me like that

* * *

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

bruce/hulk also joined the boring old farts club but he gets a free pass from teasing because he's my favorite

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@shuri**_

Aw, thank you, Shuri. I would say the same thing but I'm afraid of you starting to direct your pranks at me if I admit my favoritism.

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@brucebanner**_

smart boy

____

**_bow to me, you peasants @shuri_ **

i have to do everything myself now that bucky got himself grounded, but spidey and steve are training on stealth and that alone has me bored

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

i escaped

_**He gave me permission @soarin_flyin** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

bucky no, pepper is gonna be mad

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@soarin_flyin**_

i'm willing to pay that price

____

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** _

oh, thank bast i don't have to live tweet, now i can film

_**are u shuri bout that? @tech_geek** in response to **@shuri**_

You were live tweeting before?

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@tech_geek**_

only when there was nothing interesting happening

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

steve and spidey were sneaking around when suddenly stevie said something and now spidey is literally trembling?

> **_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **
> 
> spidey had to literally leave the training room because he was failing on holding his laughter and now he's on the floor wheezing
> 
> **_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **
> 
> he can't even talk, what the fuck
> 
> [Attached: _A video of Spiderman on the floor, holding his stomach while he laughs out loud, occasionally stopping to breath. Bucky can be heard occasionally asking him if he's okay, but Spiderman can't possibly answer while laughing like that. The video cuts when Spiderman reaches up to take off his mask._ ]
> 
> **_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **
> 
> **_@captainamerica_ **what have you done
> 
> _**Steve Barnes @captainamerica** in response to **@buckybarnes**_
> 
> :)

* * *

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

now that im more calm i can tell u that i was laughing because mr rogers, out of fucking nowhere, suddenly said "im trying to sneak around but im dummy thicc and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards"

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@spiderman**_

WHAT THE FUCK LSKLSSLSLKSKS

____

_**bow to me, you peasants @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

you were laughing because of that? lame

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

but mr rogers said it! just yesterday he asked me what was tik tok!!!

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@spiderman** and **@shuri**_

please tell me you didn't show him tik tok

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri** and **@buckybarnes**_

... i suddenly have to go

* * *

**flashlight > parkour**

**flashlight:** PARKER  
**flashlight:** PARKER  
**flashlight:** PETER  
**flashlight:** PETER WHAT THE F U C K

**parkour:** WHAT WHAT HAPPENED ARE U OKAY???

**flashlight:** NO I'M NOT FUCKING OKAY  
**flashlight:** ARE YOU SPIDERMAN???

**parkour:** what y are u saying that

**flashlight:** YOUR LAUGH IS THE EXACT SAME AS SPIDERMAN'S  
**flashlight:** AND NOW EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE

* * *

**TWO NERDS AND THEIR BOSS**

**beter:** [ _screenshot.img_ ]  
**beter:** GUYS WHAT DO I DO

**boss:** He discovered you were Spiderman because of your laugh?  
**boss:** Damn, that's so cheesy

**beter:** WHAT. DO. I. DO

**needles:** Buddy, I think we both really want to help, but there's literally nothing to be done about it

**boss:** If you deny it after leaving him on read so long it's gonna be more suspicious  
**boss:** But also, Flash wouldn't know how to keep his mouth shut if he knows Spiderman's identity

**needles:** Remember when you took his car? He didn't shut up about it for months

**beter:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH  
**beter:** HES SPAMMING ME, IM SO FUCKED

* * *

**flashlight > parkour**

**flashlight:** PETER BENJAMIN PARKER

**beter:** OKAY OKAY I GIVE UP  
**beter:** yes im spiderman

**flashlight:** WHAT THE FUCK

**beter:** PLEASE YOU CANT TELL ANYONE  
**beter:** IT WOULD PUT THE WHOLE SCHOOL AND MY AUNT IN DANGER  
beter: please

**flashlight:** what, i wasn't thinking about telling anyone  
**flashlight:** i read the tweets, dumbass, i know why you have a secret identity  
**flashlight:** but this is a lot to take in out of fucking nowhere wtf

**beter:** i know, im sorry

**flashlight:** fuck, you know everything

**beter:** i know!!!  
**beter:** i feel so bad about that  
**beter:** it feels like i tricked u to tell me such important things but i swear i didnt do it bc of that!!! i was genuinely concerned about u

**flashlight:** have you told anyone?

**beter:** no

**flashlight:** not even the avengers?

**beter:** no, not even them  
**beter:** im so sorry flash

**flashlight:** what the fuck are you sorry for?

**beter:** i still feel like i lied to you

**flashlight:** peter, if you hadn't come that day i would be dead  
**flashlight:** i think that outweighs the whole secret identity situation

**beter:** can we talk?

**flashlight:** yeah  
**flashlight:** swing by in thirty minutes if you can?

**beter:** sure

* * *

**_Flash @flashthompson2_ **

what, and i cannot stress this enough, the actual fuck

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

You do realize that now your not so secret crush on Spiderman is going to be even more laughable, right?

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@michelle_jones1**_

... FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)
> 
> I know some of you wanted Sam/Scott to be a thing, but I already had other plans with Scott that I forgot about :( I'm so sorry!!!
> 
> BUT!!!  
> Guys!!! We're at 2000 hits and 200+ kudos! What!!  
> Thank you so much, I love you all!!!
> 
> That's enough emotion for one week 
> 
> This fic turned out to be really Peter-centric and I'm honestly not against it if you guys aren't
> 
> I'll give a virtual cookie to whoever guess who's Scott's bae correctly


	8. this is a gays only event

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki hugged me @standc
> 
> Loki called us perfect but by doing so they also called themselves perfect
> 
> Loki @godofmischief in response to @standc
> 
> I made a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I purposely delayed this update to update on June 1st. You'll see why

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** _

felt cute, might do a face reveal later idk

[Attached: _A selfie taken from a mirror. Spiderman has his right leg up all the way, and it's holding it with the arm he's not using to take a picture, also doing a peace sign. He's also wearing a tutu. Behind him there can be seen a bed and a pair of legs dangling off it._ ]

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

um what the fuck is happening here?

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

i wanted to see if i was as flexible as i was when i was 11

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

so you just exposed your crotch to the internet?

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

i didnt! thats why im wearing a tutu!!!

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

hmmmm sure

* * *

**are u shuri > parkour**

**are u shuri:** who are you with? 👀👀👀👀

 **parkour:** im with ned, mj and flash, y???

 **are u shuri:** you're with who now

 **parkour:** OH I DIDNT TELL U  
**parkour:** yh flash found out im spiderman

 **are u shuri:** HOW???

 **parkour:** okay so funny story  
**parkour:** apparently he found out bc of my laugh???

 **are u shuri:** ...  
**are u shuri:** are you kidding me

 **parkour:** oh man i wish i was

 **are u shuri:** do the old farts know?

 **parkour:** kkslakksk no  
**parkour:** what r u gonna do  
**parkour:** shuri pls

* * *

**AVENGAYS**

**smart:** @everyone  
**smart:** ANOTHER CIVILIAN FOUND OUT PETER'S SECRET IDENTITY

 **baby spider:** SHURI WHAT THE FUCK

 **IronDad:** KID WHAT THE FUCK

 **baby spider:** KKALKSKAKSKSS

 **mom spider:** What?

 **star spangled ass:** Who is it?

 **parkour:** shuri why have u forsaken me

 **IronDad:** Kid, who else knows you're Spiderman?

 **parkour:** oh ur not gonna like this  
**parkour:** um,,,,, flash

 **IronDad:** ...

 **star spangled ass:** ...

 **IronDad:** I'm sorry, what was that?

 **Rhodent:** How?

 **Jesus:** what the fuck

 **7 phds:** Umwhat

 **parkour:** pls stop judging me

 **IronDad:** No, it's okay, I'm not mad  
**IronDad:** But how the fuck does your bully find out your secret identity?

 **parkour:** he hasnt bullied me in a while and im sure u guys kno y he did it in the first place!!!

 **mom spider:** Yeah, I know

 **Jesus:** guilty as charged

 **merida:** maybe so

 **parkour:** then u kno how he found out!

 **IronDad:** But I don't

 **star spangled ass:** Yeah, I don't know either?

 **parkour:** thats bad

 **IronDad:** Peter?

 **parkour:** u guys have to promise me that ur not gonna harass him or threaten him or smth like that  
**parkour:** i kno u can and will do it if i dont stop u all and u guys are srsly scary so  
**parkour:** please

 **IronDad:** Can we rewind and talk about why you're defending him now?

 **parkour:** only if u promise me, mr stark

 **IronDad:** ... Fine, I trust you  
**IronDad:** I promise to not threaten this idiot like he deserves because for some reason you're against it

 **parkour:** its wrong not matter what!!!

 **IronDad:** Shit, kid, make me look bad, why don't you

 **parkour:** guys?

 **star spangled ass:** Of course, Peter. If you're so sure about it then I don't have to doubt you.

 **Jesus:** i'm not happy about it but fine

 **mom spider:** Ok

 **merida:** i'm very much unhappy but whatever

 **parkour:** okay, u were the ones that worried me, im gonna talk now

* * *

**tony stank > flashlight**

**tony stank:** You found out because of his laughter? Really?

 **flashlight:** um who the fuck

 **tony stank:** Ah, of course  
**tony stank:** I'm Tony Stark aka Iron-Man aka Peter's boss

 **flashlight:** i'm not even gonna ask how you have my number  
**flashlight:** so he told you guys?

 **tony stank:** Yep  
**tony stank:** I'm pretty sure he purposely left out a lot of parts about the story but I'm sure he has a reason for it

 **flashlight:** is it okay if i ask what parts?

 **tony stank:** Pretty much everything involving your mental health and other details like that

 **flashlight:** oh

 **tony stank:** Not important, though  
**tony stank:** His laugh? Really?

 **flashlight:** he has a really unique laugh! it's easily recognizable!

 **tony stank:** Yeah, sure, I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with your crush on him

 **flashlight:** i don't know what you're talking about

 **tony stank:** You don't?

 **flashlight:** you're not even here how can i feel your eyes judging me

 **tony stank:** It's a gift. Be thankful it's me and not Pepper

 **flashlight:** okay, so MAYBE i have a crush on Peter  
**flashlight:** MAYBE  
**flashlight:** what about it? it's not like i'm gonna make a move on him or anything

 **tony stank:** Okay, I had to delete everything I already had typed out because  
tony stank: You aren't?

 **flashlight:** i bullied him almost every day since we were twelve because i'm an insecure piece of shit, why would i make a move on him?  
**flashlight:** i don't deserve him

 **tony stank:** This sure took a turn I wasn't expecting  
**tony stank:** You do know he forgave you, right?

 **flashlight:** it's Peter, he would forgive anyone that didn't kill another person because he thinks everyone is redeemable

 **tony stank:** You're right about that

 **flashlight:** like, don't get me wrong, i would love to be with him, but it's not something that's actually gonna happen. he deserves better than his ex bully

 **tony stank:** Hey, random question, are you seeing a therapist?

 **flashlight:** yes, Peter made me start seeing one

 **tony stank:** Okay, that's good  
**tony stank:** Another random question, are you free to come to the compound tomorrow?

 **flashlight:** um what

* * *

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

face reveal

[Attached: _A short video of Spiderman, only his face and shoulders being visible. He reaches up to take off his mask, but when he does it cuts out to a video of Dio saying "You thought it was Spiderman, but it was me, Dio!", the "Spiderman" edited on top of the clip from what seems to be Thor's voice._ ]

____

_**Waluiiiiiiiigi @waluigionsmash** in response to **@spiderman**_

hOLy shIT, it'S THat a mOthERfucKeR JOJO rEfErenCE?

____

_**sicko mode @kassssssidy** in response to **@spiderman**_

boo old meme

____

_**Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@spiderman**_

I can't believe this is my favorite Avenger

* * *

**_Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner_ **

Please end me.

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@brucebanner**_

:( y?

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@spiderman**_

Loki has been listening to the same two songs of Billie Eilish for five hours.

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@brucebanner**_

which ones?

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@spiderman**_

Bury a friend and Bad guy.

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@brucebanner**_

_**@godofmischief**_ ur such a basic bitch

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@brucebanner** and **@spiderman**_

Fuck you.

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@spiderman** and **@godofmischief**_

Oh dear, they now added I wish you were gay to the mix.

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@brucebanner** and **@spiderman**_

Leave me alone, I'm in a weird mood right now.

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@brucebanner** and **@godofmischief**_

u mean this isnt ur usual self?

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@spiderman** and **@godofmischief**_

Well, Loki left, so... F.

* * *

**_Loki hugged me @standc_ **

How does Loki manages to always be a mood?

____

**_Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc_ **

RIP Spidey

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@spidermanfanacc**_

F

____

**_Only one more sleep... @wlw_warrior_ **

I can definitely relate to listening those two songs in repeat for five hours

____

* ** _hacker voice* i'm in @shuri_**

 ** _@godofmischief_ **was your mood just gay?

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@shuri**_

... Huh. Maybe.

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@godofmischief**_

lmao

* * *

**flashlight > parkour**

**flashlight:** excuse my french but whAT THE F U C K?

 **parkour:** are u ok?!

 **flashlight:** define okay

 **parkour:** do i have to have a hard talk with someone that may or may not evolve on physical violence depending on how mad i get?

 **flashlight:** jfc no  
**flashlight:** but tony fucking stark just invited me to go to the fucking avengers compound tomorrow???

 **parkour:** he did what now

 **flashlight:** i know???  
**flashlight:** i'm legitimately freaking out what the fuck

 **parkour:** but why?  
**parkour:** please tell me he didnt threaten you

 **flashlight:** okay, 1) why the fuck is your grammar almost perfect now and 2) no he didn't why would he?

 **parkour:** 1) shut it im worried 2) bc he and the rest of the avengers like to act like overprotective parents sometimes  
**parkour:** but then y did he invite u over to the compound wtf?

 **flashlight:** i genuinely don't know

 **parkour:** >:/  
**parkour:** imma be at the compound to make sure he stays in line

 **flashlight:** my hero

 **parkour:** uwu ❤❤

* * *

**parkour > tony stank**

**parkour:** MR STARK WHAT THE FUCK

 **tony stank:** Not even half an hour

 **parkour:** WHY

 **tony stank:** I trust you, but I want to make sure he's real about not wanting to hurt you anymore

 **parkour:** mr stark i love you and the team but if you do anything to pressure him into an answer

 **tony stank:** I'm worried about you, Peter

 **parkour:** and i appreciate it! but that doesnt give u a free pass to be mean to someone because of their past actions!  
**parkour:** you know how that feels!!!

 **tony stank:** ... I do know, don't I?

 **parkour:** mr stark please  
**parkour:** i know you want whats best for me but dont hurt him  
**parkour:** i can handle him if he happens to

 **tony stank:** If he happens to...?

 **parkour:** i dont want to finish that sentence

 **tony stank:** ... Damn, you two are idiots

 **parkour:** um what

 **tony stank:** Not my place to talk  
**tony stank:** But know that your pining is painfully obvious

 **parkour:** he found out im spiderman because of my laugh  
**parkour:** so yes, im head over heels for him

 **tony stank:** You useless bisexual

 **parkour:** ur one to talk!!!

 **tony stank:** I'm married, kid

 **parkour:** and im gonna be too if i dont die before turning 25

 **tony stank:** With a certain Eugene Thompson?

 **parkour:** LJSLAJKSKSDJ SHUT UP

* * *

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

JUNE 1ST, LETS GO GAYS

____

**_Steve Barnes @captainamerica_ **

Happy Pride Month! To all members of the LGBTQIA+ community, I wish you a happy and healthy celebration of yourselves! I'm happy to openly be a part of this year's pride! ❤

____

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

RAISE UP, GAYS. IT'S OUR MONTH

____

**_Loki @godofmischief_ **

You have a whole month to celebrate basically everything I am? Perfect. You should all celebrate being perfect.

____

**_Strongest Avenger @godofthunder_ **

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! Especially you, my tiny lesbians! I love you all!

____

**_Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner_ **

Let's celebrate being ourselves. ❤

____

**_*hacker voice* i'm in @shuri_ **

LET'S GO, LESBIANS, LET'S GO

____

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** _

The gayest month of the year is here. Let's all celebrate and spite on the homophobes.

____

**_T'Challa @blackpanther_ **

Happy Pride Month from me and my (still) mysterious boyfriends.

[Attached: _A picture of the bottom half of three faces. The middle one is clearly T'Challa's, and he's being kissed on both cheeks by other two people. The left face is a dark one, square jaw and beard, while the right face is white and chiseled. T'Challa can be seen broadly smiling._ ]

____

**_Lang @itsantman_ **

MY BF AND I WISH YOU A HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!! BE PROUD OF YOURSELVES, BE PROUD OF YOUR LOVE!!!

____

**_Witchy on Main @scarlet.witch_ **

Even though Vision (who stills refuses to make a Twitter) and I are hetero, a good bunch of our family is queer and we love them dearly. From the two of us, Happy Pride Month!

____

**_Pepper Potts @peppervpotts_ **

Being married to a chaotic bisexual is definitely an experience I wouldn't change for anything in the world. Happy Pride to my husband, my family, and all of you out there. Never be afraid of being you.

____

**_Original Bird Avenger @hawkeye_ **

happy pride to my dudes, my dudettes and everyone in between. all of you are amazing

____

**_Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon_ **

My fellow queers. Is only till today, the start of the Pride Month of 20biteen, that I have the courage to publicly came out as pan. I'm so proud of the progress this community has made towards tolerance, and I'm proud of all of you

____

**_Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby_ **

I'm really not good with words, so. Happy Pride, never stop being yourselves

____

**_War Machine Was Here @colrhodes_ **

If someone doesn't love you for being you, then that someone doesn't deserve you and I will love you instead. Always be proud of being you.

____

**_P.P @peterbparker_ **

THIS IS A GAYS ONLY EVENT, HETEROS GET OUT (except u ned, ur cool)

_**Guy in the chair @ned.leeds** in response to **@peterbparker**_

Happy pride month buddy ❤✨

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@peterbparker** and **@ned.leeds**_

Hell yeah, pride month is here. Guess who's coming out as a lesbian boys

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@ned.leeds** and **@michelle_jones1**_

KKSLAKKAAKSJDJD WH A T

____

**_Flash @flashthompson2_ **

my true form has been finally revealed

[Attached: _A selfie of Flash doing a finger gun sign, rainbow flags painted on both of his cheeks. He's smiling and winking._ ]

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

fucking superb u funky little gay

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@peterbparker**_

lol nerd

* * *

**_P R I D E @wlw_warrior_ **

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH MY FELLOW GAYS

____

**_gammahammer @lizzyships_ **

the avengers really said gay rights

____

**_Loki hugged me @standc_ **

Loki called us perfect but by doing so they also called themselves perfect

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@standc**_

I made a mistake.

____

**_Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996_ **

catch me flying to new york just because cap is going to be on pride this year

____

**_TRANS RIGHTS @galaxygallade_ **

No cops at pride, only the Avengers

* * *

**parkour > tony stank**

**parkour:** u k n e w

 **tony stank:** Of course I knew you were gonna be a heroic little shit and play bodyguard for your crush

 **parkour:** y did u lock us up in my lab

 **tony stank:** Because you two useless gays need to talk out your feelings or else I'm gonna make Friday play Everytime we touch by Cascada every ten minutes, progressively louder, until you tell each other how you feel

 **parkour:** y tho

 **tony stank:** Because he's a self-deprecating little shit and you were never gonna say something, so I had the moral urge to do something  
**tony stank:** And yes, I know that is bad to force people to talk out, but I actually am doing it out of concern

 **parkour:** i was actually gonna ask from which fanfic u took this idea

 **tony stank:** None of your concern and you better start talking to each other or else

 **parkour:** im gonna eat ur blueberries in revenge

 **tony stank:** I fucking dare you

* * *

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

WELL GUESS WHO HAS A BF NOW

> **_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **
> 
> oH SHIT WRONG ACCOUNT

* * *

**_TWO NERDS AND THEIR BOSS_ **

**boss:** You idiot

 **beter:** SHUT UP FLASH IS ALREADY TEASING ME

 **needles:** How did that happen???

 **beter:** i may or may havent been distracted by having him on my lap

 **boss:** You two have been boyfriends for less than an hour and you're already gross

 **beter:** shut up im happy

 **needles:** I thought he was being self-righteous and yada yada yada?

 **beter:** well yeah but i'm gay and peter made the first move and convinced me this was his choice so who am i to say no while still hating myself inside? - Flash

 **needles:** Oof, mood

 **boss:** I bet you ten bucks Peter is scolding Flash for that message

 **needles:** Why would I make a bet I'm going to lose?

 **beter:** yh i was :(

 **boss:** Cool  
**boss:** Go be gross somewhere else

 **beter:** :p

* * *

**_SWINGING BOTH WAYS @spideyfan_ **

He deleted the tweets but I have slow ass internet 😎

[Attached: _A screenshot from Spiderman's tweet claiming he has a boyfriend._ ]

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@spideyfan**_

y have u done dis

_**SWINGING BOTH WAYS @spideyfan** in response to **@spiderman**_

Wtf why can I feel puppy eyes being directed at me

* * *

_**if she breathes @thotlandia** _

I'm not saying anything but Flash made his account private... 👀👀

_**trinity @holytrinity** in response to **@thotlandia**_

OML!! HE'S SO OBVIOUS!!!

____

**_SHE'S A THOT @princessthotof_ **

Hmmm, **_@flashthompson2_** watchu hidin?

____

**_Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc_ **

Spidey literally two weeks ago: Yeah I don't want to expose my s/o to the dangers I face :/  
Spidey now: Announces the world he has a boyfriend from the wrong account

_**SWINGING BOTH WAYS @spideyfan** in response to **@spidermanfanacc**_

We stan a dumbass bisexual

____

**_Carrot @carriecarrot_ **

i love that everyone agrees on flash being spidey's boyfriend lol

____

**_SCREAMING INTENSIFIES @axel2143_ **

top five trending tags on tumblr right now: pride, spiderflash, flash thompson, stucky (i love you guys), t'challa

* * *

**AVENGAYS**

**boss ass bitch:** Ten minutes.  
**boss ass bitch:** You lasted ten whole minutes without letting the world know you have a boyfriend.

 **baby spider:** im sorry, im rlly happy and im stupid :(

 **boss ass bitch:** You're not stupid, Peter. But this is a mess.

 **baby spider:** can u guys like  
**baby spider:** put protection on flash or smth

 **boss ass bitch:** I'm sure we can, why?  
**boss ass bitch:** ... Oh, no. Peter, no.

 **baby spider:** i know i can protect him, but if u guys keep an eye on him until the world knows im spiderman im gonna be rlly happy and i want to brag abt my bf

 **boss ass bitch:** You're eventually going to post something on the wrong account again and you know that.

 **baby spider:** ... maybe so  
**baby spider:** but my 18 birthday is gonna be rlly soon and then im gonna let the world know just like we planned  
**baby spider:** this is only till august pls mrs potts

 **boss ass bitch:** ... I'll make the arrangements for his bodyguards.

 **baby spider:** love u!!!!

* * *

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** _

my bf

[Attached: _A selfie of Spiderman and Flash. Flash is looking at the camera pretending to be shocked, while Spiderman (with his mask covering only half of his face) is kissing his cheek, while holding his face with red fingers._ ]

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@spiderman**_

i can't believe you picked the one where I look like a fish

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

❤❤

* * *

**tony stank > flashlight**

**tony stank:** Peter made me promise I wasn't going to threaten you but I'm sure you know what will happen if you hurt him, right?

 **flashlight:** i do  
 **flashlight:** and i'm sure you have no reason to believe me, but i promise you i will never purposely hurt him. i can't promise to never hurt him, because i'm still an asshole who makes stupid mistakes, but making him happy will be my only priority

 **tony stank:** Good  
 **tony stank:** Make him happy, then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you thought I was gonna make them pinning messes hehehehe  
> No  
> Fuck that  
> It's the gay month, everyone is gay and happy 
> 
> It finally happened  
> I can die now
> 
> Also, shout out to neizmmer for being the only person to correctly guess who's Scott's bae!  
> His bae is Jimmy Woo, his parol officer from Ant-Man and the Wasp!  
> A lot of you said Loki and I'm concerned about that 
> 
> On another note, I'm gonna make a little petition here
> 
> Guys, I know you don't do it on a mean or pushy way, but please don't ask me when I'm going to update. I write when I have inspiration and time; I updated daily the first 5 chapters because my schedule allowed me to do so, but with end terms coming up soon in my country I'm short on time.  
> It also makes me slightly anxious when people ask me when I'm going to do something, so please don't ask me when I'm going to update. Thank you!
> 
> In a happier note, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, MY FELLOW GAYS. IF SOMEONE ISN'T HAPPY FOR YOU BEING YOU, THEN FUCK THEM, I'M HAPPY FOR YOU BEING YOU!


	9. party crashers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My friends are traitors @michelle_jones1
> 
> Fuck friendship, my only goal now is to abolish capitalism

**WE GUCCI**

**moonmoon:** why is this so dead  
**moonmoon:** we're graduating next monday guys, where are my sad memes

 **bon jovivi:** idk, im dissociating from the fact that after i graduate i technically have to look out after myself  
**bon jovivi:** i dont even know how to pay taxes, what the fuck are taxes

 **Lucio main:** i feel called out tbh

 **salty:** honestly mood

 **mario:** pls dont remind me of graduation i want to pretend im not going to be responsible for myself a little while longer

 **Lucio main:** dont u have THE tony stark under ur belt tho?

 **mario:** no comment

 **moonmoon:** i honestly can't believe we're graduating on the same timeline where flash is famous for dating a superhero

 **bon jovivi:** this truly is the timeline that god abandoned

 **salty:** have you guys seen all the paparazzi hiding outside the school trying to get a photo of flash? it's so uncomfortable tbh

 **dash:** i can sense you bitches talking shit about me  
**dash:** oh  
**dash:** wait there are paparazzi outside the school????

 **mario:** u havent noticed them????

 **dash:** no? wtf

 **luigi:** I'm pleasantly surprised that you don't seem thrilled of knowing that there are paparazzi after you

 **dash:** why would i be thrilled of having people trying to invade my privacy?

 **luigi:** Fair

 **Lucio main:** im more curious on why u havent noticed them

 **dash:** i actually have no idea, i always take the front entrance

 **salty:** why do i sense a protective superboyfriend moment happening here

 **MCR:** Because it's definitely what's happening

 **mario:** lol flash is making distressed noises

 **bon jovivi:** i can't believe we broke him

 **moonmoon:** you two are together rn?

 **mario:** ... yh

 **moonmoon:** okay then

 **Lucio main:** wait  
**Lucio main:** do u guys think spiderman is going to be at the graduation?

 **salty:** omg maybe?  
**salty:** i mean, his boyfriend is graduating after all

 **moonmoon:** he's still a superhero tho, maybe he doesn't have time to be on a high school graduation

 **salty:** isn't he a college student? time definitely doesn't exist for him between college and being an avenger

 **dash:** man don't remind me

 **salty:** flash, do you think spidey is going to be at your graduation?

 **dash:** nah :/  
**dash:** we talked about it already, him being at graduation is definitely a bad idea  
**dash:** i wanted him to swing me to the podium

 **MCR:** Of course you did

 **dash:** shut it

 **bon jovivi:** this is so surreal  
**bon jovivi:** i can't believe your redemption arc gave you a superhero boyfriend, my redemption arc only gave me myopia and bad self-esteem

 **luigi:** Oof

 **dash:** honestly not even i believe it  
**dash:** even though the avengers are breathing down my neck lol

 **moonmoon:** and to think that you used to make fun of peter for his internship

 **mario:** :(

 **dash:** gdi you made him sad

 **luigi:** Oh no

 **MCR:** You guys are doomed lol

 **moonmoon:** um what

 

**dash added black window**

 

 **black window:** Which one of you made Peter sad?

 **salty:** hahahaha what the fuck

 **Lucio main:** oh, so this is happening

 **bon jovivi:** wait flash are you at the avengers compound right now?

 **dash:** i'm here with Peter, i thought that part was obvious

 **black window:** Stop ignoring my question

 **moonmoon:** guys, this is how i die  
**moonmoon:** and honestly, fuck yeah, being killed by black widow will be my legacy

 **black window:** So it was you?

 **moonmoon:** sorry ma'am we were just teasing flash

 **black window:** Ah  
**black window:** I can definitely understand that

 **dash:** please don't

 **black window:** Our local lover boy is so easy to tease

 **salty:** lover boy?

 **black window:** I take it he didn't tell you, then

 **dash:** bitch, my reputation?

 **salty:** did you just call black widow a bitch eye-

 **black window:** Look at Peter. He's still sad

 **dash:** he's giggling like a schoolgirl what do you mean

 **black window:** I can only assume his sadness is somewhat your fault

 **dash:** it was cindy, what the fuck  
**dash:** she even confessed!

 **moonmoon:** to be fair i did

 **black window:** Hm  
**black window:** Well, your embarrassment will be saved until graduation day

 **dash:** wait, what

 **black window:** Peter is graduating too, you thought we weren't going? As if  
**black window:** But if I sense Peter being sad again your reputation will haunt you until senior year of college

 

**black window left**

 

 **Lucio main:** oh, so that happened

 **salty:** flash, did you call black widow bitch and live to tell the world?

 **dash:** and she's definitely gonna remember that

 **luigi:** Screw that, thE AVENGERS ARE COMING TO THE GRADUATION, HELLO????

 **bon jovivi:** it somehow didn't sink in until you said it

 **mario:** fuck

 **dash:** fuck

 **MCR:** lmao

 **Lucio main:** f

 **luigi:** F

 **moonmoon:** f

 **salty:** f

 **bon jovivi:** f

* * *

_**P.P @peterbparker** _

fuck avengers lives

**_Flash @flashthompson2_ **

rt

____

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@peterbparker**_

Damn, what did we do now?

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

nat told us of ur plan for monday >:(

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@peterbparker**_

Fuck

____

**_Tony @youknowwhoiam_ **

**_@blackwidowbaby_** Nat, what the fuck?

_**Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

I was teasing Eugene ¯\\_(ツ)_/ ¯

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@blackwidowbaby**_

Don't you ¯\\_(ツ)_/ ¯ me

_**Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

¯\\_(ツ)_/ ¯

____

**_Guy in the chair @ned.leeds_ **

I'm still freaking out

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@ned.leeds**_

I'm possibly gonna meet Black Widow and honestly that's the peak of my life right now

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@ned.leeds** and **@michelle_jones1**_

u already met her tho?

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@ned.leeds** and **@peterbparker**_

Peter, I definitely would remember meeting Black Widow

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@ned.leeds** and **@michelle_jones1**_

k, so do u remember ms berkley? the neighbor that brought my hw that one time?

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@ned.leeds** and **@peterbparker**_

... No

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@ned.leeds** and **@michelle_jones1**_

yh

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@ned.leeds** and **@peterbparker**_

PETER I MADE FUN OF YOU IN FRONT OF FREAKING BLACK WIDOW AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@ned.leeds** and **@michelle_jones1**_

payback

_**MJ @michelle_jones1** in response to **@ned.leeds** and **@peterbparker**_

PETER WHAT THE F U C K?

_**Guy in the chair @ned.leeds** in response to **@michelle_jones1** and **@peterbparker**_

[gay panic]

____

_**My friends are traitors @michelle_jones1** _

Fuck friendship, my only goal now is to abolish capitalism

**_Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby_ **

rt

_**Okoye @okoye** _

rt

**_*hacker voice* i'm in @shuri_ **

rt

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

rt

**_Witchy on Main @scarlet.witch_ **

rt

**_Loki @godofmischief_ **

rt

____

**_My friends are traitors @michelle_jones1_ **

What the fuck

* * *

**WE GUCCI**

**bon jovivi:** so  
**bon jovivi:** who's ready to embarrass themselves in front of the avengers  
**bon jovivi:** not me, that's for goddamn sure

 **salty:** i'm super nervous  
**salty:** somehow graduation didn't seem so close last month

 **bon jovivi:** oof, i feel that

 **moonmoon:** i'm so happy i didn't win valedictorian because i'm already crying and graduation is in one hour

 **dash:** hey so what do i do if i feel like i'm having a panic attack

 **mario:** where are you?

 **dash:** on my room

 **mario:** omw

 **Lucio main:** i miss prom  
**Lucio main:** it wasnt this messy

 **salty:** didn't you spike the punch?

 **Lucio main:** oooooh, that was me?

 **salty:** what the hell abe

* * *

**AVENGAYS**

**baby spider:** can u guys be a distraction for an hour while i calm down gene?

 **IronDad:** Are you kidding, Pete?  
**IronDad:** I'm the definition of distraction, leave it to me

 **star spangled ass:** So, no one denied his statement.

 **Rhodent:** He's not wrong.

 **7 phds:** I don't deny truth

 **Jesus:** he's annoying

 **star spangled ass:** Fair.

* * *

**_One Last Time @betty_brantt_ **

Hey, so, what the fuck? The Avengers just showed up at our graduation????

[Attached: _A shaky video of Iron-Man lowering himself down onto a stage, raised voices sounding all over the place and being indistinguishable. Iron-Man is waving at the crowd, teachers starting to approach him in clear confusion. The video cuts right when screams start to fill the place at the appearance of Captain America, Black Widow and Bucky Barnes._ ]

____

**_Currently dying @mindreading_ **

The Avengers are at our graduation and I never been so confused in my life

____

**_My friends are traitors @michelle_jones1_ **

**_@peppervpotts_** Come get your man

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** in response to **@michelle_jones1**_

I swear to Thor...

____

**_Moonlit @cindy_mo0n_ **

HAWKEYE JUST POPPED FROM BELOW THE STAGE I'M????

____

**_E l l i o t @not_ur_elliot_ **

What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck?

[Attached: _A shaky photo of Iron-Man, Captain America, Black Widow, Bucky Barnes and Hawkeye on stage._ ]

____

**_Sonic '06 was a good game @AbeBwown_ **

my only emotion right now is confusion

* * *

**_Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc_ **

What are the Avengers doing at Midtown's graduation ceremony???

____

**_TRANS RIGHTS @galaxygallade_ **

This is the moment where I cry for having graduated five years ago

_**sicko mode @kassssssidy** in response to **@galaxygallade**_

mood

____

_**SHE'S A THOT @princessthotof** _

Does anyone have any idea of why the Avengers are there or we're supposed to keep guessing?

____

**_if she breathes @thotlandia_ **

Don't Peter and Flash go to Midtown tho?

_**SHE'S A THOT @princessthotof** in response to **@thotlandia**_

LMAO

____

**_that is not correct @memepedia_ **

Neither Peter nor Flash are here what

* * *

**_WE GUCCI_ **

**moonmoon:** uh, @mario @dash where are you guys??  
**moonmoon:** i'm 98% sure the avengers are here for you and you aren't even here????

 **mario:** SORRY!!  
**mario:** we r on our way!!

 **luigi:** Peter, you better hurry, Tony is betting he can defeat both supersoldiers at the same time

 **mario:** FFS HE ALWAYS DOES THIS

 **salty:** hawkeye makes dad jokes and i don't know what to do with this information

 **Lucio main:** people that arent even students are trying to get into the school wth

 **MCR:** So that explains the sudden arrival of so many guards

 **bon jovivi:** i love my life rn tbh

 **moonmoon:** what happened?

 **bon jovivi:** uh, the avengers are at our graduation ceremony?

 **luigi:** Okay, Peter and Flash are here, hopefully everything goes back to normal now

* * *

**_The Avengers crashed my graduation @betty_brantt_ **

So, now Iron-Man is handing the diplomas (still on his suit). This is my life right now

* * *

**_Carrot @carriecarrot_ **

google search how do i graduate from high school being a chemistry major

____

**_I don't speak to managers @karen_matthh_ **

Can I attend a graduation ceremony when I'm not a teacher nor parent in said school

____

**_howdy bitch @jesseen_ **

man you guys have no idea how much i regret not going to midtown rn

____

**_black widow can kill me and i'd thank her @blackwindow_ **

i'm so jealous of everyone that gets to met black widow today

* * *

**_Avril Lavigne @sally_avril_ **

hawkeye makes dad jokes and i really don't know what to do with this information

____

**_ding dong ur opinion is wrong @charly_bonjo_ **

the list is getting closer and closer to me and i really don't know if i'm ready to have my diploma handed to me by iron-man

____

**_P.P @peterbparker_ **

smh i leave for ONE hour and this happens

____

**_Flash @flashthompson2_ **

really dreading graduating now

____

**_My friends are traitors @michelle_jones1_ **

I'm still so mad at the fact that I met Black Widow before and I never knew

____

**_Guy in the chair @ned.leeds_ **

I'm trembling

 **_P.P @peterbparker_** _in response to_ **_@ned.leeds_ **

he is

[Attached: _A shaky gif of Ned on his seat, wearing his gown, fidgeting excitedly on his place._ ]

____

_**Moonlit @cindy_moOn** _

let's all give an f to sally, who was the first member of the acadec squad to have her diploma handed to her by iron-man. a less meaningful f to abe for being second

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@cindy_moOn**_

f

____

_**My friends are traitors @michelle_jones1** in response to **@cindy_moOn**_

F

____

_**Guy in the chair @ned.leeds** in response to **@cindy_moOn**_

F

___

_**ding dong ur opinion is wrong @charly_bonjo** in response to **@cindy_moOn**_

f

____

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@cindy_moOn**_

f

____

_**Sonic '06 was a good game @AbeBwown** in response to **@cindy_moOn**_

well fuck u guys too

* * *

**WE GUCCI**

**salty:** i still can't believe that happened

 **mario:** i hope none of u took photos of videos of my or flashs turns to get our diplomas

 **luigi:** Whoops

 **mario:** i feel,,,, betrayed

 **Lucio main:** black widow calling flash a little bitch in front of everyone was the highlight of my year

 **dash:** fuck off

 **moonmoon:** i'm still really curious  
**moonmoon:** what took you guys so long?

 **mario:** flash?

 **dash:** eh  
**dash:** i was having a panic attack and Peter stayed with me to calm me down

 **moonmoon:** :(  
**moonmoon:** do you feel comfortable saying what triggered your attack?

 **dash:** no

 **moonmoon:** that's okay

 **mario:** k so im being forced to say this  
**mario:** how do u guys feel 'bout having a graduation party w/ the avengers  
**mario:** pls say no so i can spite on them

 **luigi:** UMMM, YEAH????  
**luigi:** It's the AVENGERS, man!!!

 **moonmoon:** oof i can't, mom is taking me to dinner and i definitely can't say no

 **salty:** sorry, family dinner :(

 **bon jovivi:** can i just take a rain check? i love them but i definitely can't take being on a party with them

 **MCR:** Sure, I'll go

 **dash:** whatever keeps me out of my house

 **Lucio main:** gdi, my family is dragging me away

 **mario:** Hey guys, Tony here. That's totally okay, we can always just reschedule to include all of you. In the meantime, Happy is going to pick you up, Ned, MJ, Flash

 **luigi:** Dope

 **dash:** okay

 **MCR:** Cool

 **salty:** gotta say, it weirds me out how nonchalant you guys are about this

 **MCR:** The Avengers are nerds, what's there to be excited about

 **dash:** ^

 **luigi:** ^^

 **mario:** ^^^

 **moonmoon:** what

* * *

_**E l l i o t @not_ur_elliot** _

I still feel like today didn't happen

____

_**Currently dying @mindreading** _

nothing will ever top this moment tbh

____

**_Goodbye Midtown! @betty_brantt_ **

I'm still so shaken up about what happened, how do I process this

____

**_Sonic '06 was a good game @AbeBwown_ **

u guys never had iron-man handing u ur diploma and it shows

* * *

**SPIDEY PROTECTION SQUAD**

**bitch:** hey so i lost my watch

 **spidey:** ohno  
**spidey:** the one ur dad gave u?

 **bitch:** yeah  
**bitch:** guess who's dying bitches

 **chair man:** It can't be that bad?  
**chair man:** Okay, scratch that, I just realized that bitch is Flash  
**chair man:** Yeah, this is bad

 **tragic sketch:** You don't remember when you had it on last time?

 **bitch:** i think half an hour ago when i went to the balcony to answer my phone  
**bitch:** but i already went there and the watch is nowhere to be found

 **spidey:** k babe i asked friday and she says morgan took ur watch

 **bitch:** oh thank loki  
**bitch:** where's she?

 **spidey:** probably on the living room, ill meet u in the elevator

 **bitch:** okay

 **tragic sketch:** Babe?

 **chair man:** B A B E

 **bitch:** shut up

 **tragic sketch:** No lol

* * *

_**Guy in the chair @ned.leeds** _

We're officially adults

[Attached: _A picture of Ned, MJ, Peter and Flash, the four of them sitting together on a large couch in the order mentioned before. All of them are still on their gowns, holding Capri Sun pouches and smiling at the camera. They seem to be high up, if the imagery of New York provided by the window in the back says anything._ ]

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@ned.leeds**_

clink clink bitch!

_**My friends are traitors @michelle_jones1** in response to **@ned.leeds** and **@peterbparker**_

We sure as hell don't act like adults, tho

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@ned.leeds** , **@peterbparker** and **@michelle_jones1**_

nothing surprising, then

* * *

**SPIDEY PROTECTION SQUAD**

**spidey:** so who wants me to swing them to their house

 **tragic sketch:** Hard pass

 **chair man:** I do!

 **bitch:** can i sleep at your place instead?

 **spidey:** sure!! let happy drop u there while i swing ned back to his house

 **bitch:** sure

 **tragic sketch:** Use protection, boys

 **bitch:** he still counts as a minor, we sadly can't do anything yet

 **tragic sketch:** "Sadly"

 **bitch:** shut the fuck up, have you s e e n him?

 **tragic sketch:** You're getting nowhere here, buddy

 **bitch:** shit true my bad

 **chair man:** Ok, yeah, never doing this again

 **tragic sketch:** lol

 **spidey:** k, swinging back home now, wait for me there!!!

 **bitch:** will do

* * *

**flashlight > tony stank**

**flashlight:** Peter hasn't come home yet

 **tony stank:** What?

 **flashlight:** he texted me saying he was swinging to his apartment two hours ago but he hasn't come yet and he doesn't answer his phone

 **tony stank:** Are you and May safe?

 **flashlight:** we are but Peter isn't picking up

 **tony stank:** Don't worry, his suit has a tracker. I'll look him up and see into the matter

 **flashlight:** please get him back safe

 **tony stank:** Of course I will  
**tony stank:** My son isn't dying today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be posted this Monday but my teachers are little bitches that don't like me having free time  
> Luckily I'll have two weeks of vacation starting tomorrow, yay!


	10. behind the mask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're incredible."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of past sexual assault

**tony stank > flashlight**

**tony stank:** Both his backpack with his suit and his watch are on a alleyway two blocks away from his apartment  
**tony stank:** Karen got an image of his kidnapper  
**tony stank:** Does the name Steven Wescott ring a bell?

**flashlight:** ...  
**flashlight:** that's skip  
**flashlight:** THAT SON OF A GODDAMNED BITCH  
**flashlight:** I'M GOING TO SKIN HIM ALIVE IF HE DOES ANYTHING TO PETER

**tony stank:** ... What did he do to Peter, Flash?

**flashlight:** he sexually assaulted Peter when he was a kid  
**flashlight:** he's a sick bastard and he wasn't supposed to get out of prison for another year

**tony stank:** I'm already hacking the security cameras available in that street and the next ones  
**tony stank:** We're going to find him

**flashlight:** we have to  
**flashlight:** can i go to the compound?

**tony stank:** Happy is picking you up

* * *

Car rides were never this slow for him, even though he knew Happy was going as fast as he could and the streets were awfully empty for a Monday night. He was just so anxious and so worried, thinking about what Peter could be going through on that exact moment.  
Was he hurt? Was Skip doing anything to him?

Was he even alive?

Flash was constantly biting the skin around his nails, watching the screen of his phone every two minutes to see if Tony Stark had sent him another message telling him they have found him and they were on his way to the compound...  
He just wanted Peter to be safe.  
And that sounded so damn hypocrite from him.

But he didn't care.

He wanted Peter to be safe.

* * *

**SPIDEY PROTECTION SQUAD**

**bitch:** do you guys know the news already

**chair man:** Tony Stark told us

**tragic sketch:** I'm ready to slap a bitch

**bitch:** i'm on my way to the compound right now  
**bitch:** i'll keep you updated on anything that happens

**chair man:** Thanks

* * *

The Avengers seemed really tense, all of them pacing and/or watching any screen within their reach going through anything they could use to find Peter.  
And soon, he joined them on it.

The camera feeds didn't show anything, and somehow all of them had blind spots that seemed to have been taken advantage of by Skip.  
He was just getting angrier by the minute, gripping the StarkPad on his hands tighter and tighter by the minute until a hand reached to gently touch his shoulder. When he looked up Bruce Banner was there, smiling reassuringly at him even though he seemed as tense as everybody else in the room.

"They're going to find him, Eugene." And, yeah, he was also one of the few Avengers that refused to call him Flash for some reason. "There's no way in hell they would let anything happen to him."

"I know, but..." He answered, his voice carried with tiredness and worry. "I don't want him to get hurt."

"And neither do we, Dashiell." Tony Stark called out, looking up from his screen with determination written all over his face. "The whole team is on it with this, and that alone is rare. We're going to bring him back, and Skip is going to have a few words with Mr and Mrs. Stabby over there." He signaled to Natasha and Loki, that were huddled over a map with Colonel Rhodes and Bucky, tracing routes and places.

And now that he looked around the room, everyone was doing something. Everyone was working on finding Peter, with camera feeds displayed on all the screens on the room and a 3D map in the center of it, different possible routes displayed all over it with no clear end, but with the same starting point.  
The alleyway two blocks away from Peter's house.

Flash was going to go back to his own screen when a flashing dot appeared on the 3D map, catching the attention of everyone in the room. Soon enough the map was surrounded, and Tony was zooming on the flashing dot.

"What is this, FRIDAY?" Stark asked, suiting up instantly. Besides him everyone was getting ready to go out, a flash of green being the most obvious one.

"Alert signal from Karen, sir. This is Peter's position."

* * *

**SPIDEY PROTECTION SQUAD**

**bitch:** they found him  
**bitch:** they're on their way

**tragic sketch:** Where's he?

**bitch:** in some storage unit  
**bitch:** i zoned out after friday said it was Peter's position i'm sorry

**tragic sketch:** That's okay

**chair man:** I hope he's okay...

**bitch:** i hope the same

* * *

**_Breaking News @BreakingNews_ **

The Avengers saved a teenager that had been kidnapped by his sexual offender. The whole team raided the storage unit where the kidnapper had the teen, identified as Peter Parker, held. [link]

____

**_CNN Breaking News @cnnbrk_ **

Peter Parker, Tony Stark's intern loved by Twitter, has just been saved by The Avengers from his kidnapper and sexual offender. The kidnapper has been apprehended. [link]

* * *

**_Danni @danni.vazquezz_ **

All of the Avengers going to save Peter is so heartwarming, he really is their little brother

____

**_My friends are traitors @michelle_jones1_ **

I will kill a bitch

____

**_partly broken @gogobebe_ **

no one say his name. he doesn't deserve recognition. he's a monster and he will root in jail as one

* * *

The Avengers had told him to stay behind.

So he obviously followed them.

His boyfriend had been kidnapped by his sexual offender and they expected him to stay put? As if.  
As soon as he asked FRIDAY for Peter's position he took a taxi there, dropping a few blocks away to not draw attention to himself.  
So of course he saw when The Avengers were dragging Skip outside, handcuffed and with a stab wound on his shoulder that Loki looked strangely proud of.  
And of course he saw Peter being walked outside by Wanda and Bruce, fully clothed –he felt like a weight was lifted off from his shoulders when he saw that–, but... His face was badly beaten up, blood pouring down everywhere and he was clearly crying.

That was enough for him to see red.

"You son of a fucking bitch!" No one seemed surprised to see him there, and no one tried to visibly stop him when he ran to Skip and started to punch him in the face, just like he seemed to have punched Peter. "How dare you?! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!"

He didn't even know how long nor how much he punched that bastard, but soon enough –too soon for his liking– he was being held back by Steve, his screams and curses being one of the only things heard besides Tony and Steve's words trying to calm him down and Peter's pleas to stop.  
He didn't want to stop, however.

He wanted to end Steven Wescott.

The only way they found to stop him was to knock him out.

* * *

After a physical exam, where it was shown that Peter didn't suffer any sexual assault –thank God for that– and after being cleaned up, they were sitting on a couch in the living room of the compound, cuddling. Only some of the Avengers were left at the compound, scattered around the place. The rest of them were either back home already or looking up ways to put Skip in the worst place possible.  
Flash wasn't against that idea.

But, currently, he was focused on Peter. He was playing with Peter's hair, his boyfriend's head against his shoulder.  
He had him back, finally.  
He felt like he could breath again.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm okay, Gene. I promise you."

Flash looked down at Peter, studying him for a moment before kissing his forehead.  
He didn't want to think about it anymore. And he was sure Peter didn't want that either.

"Okay, but, how did you managed to get Karen to notify FRIDAY of your location? You didn't have your suit or your watch with you." Peter's face lighted up, and he rushed to take off his shoes, pointing at his socks excitedly.

"Okay, so, you know of that thing I told you about that Ned helped me code?" He nodded, clearly remembering how excited he was about the project. "Is this! These socks have nanotechnology on them, and with a certain tap of your feet that you're able to register they send your location to nearby police stations in case you're in danger! I linked mine to Karen, and she notified FRIDAY of my location to-"

"You're incredible."

"Huh?"

He didn't mean to say that out-loud, and by the expression of Peter he didn't expect to hear it, but he didn't regret saying it.  
Peter was incredibly smart, and kind, and strong, and he deserved to hear it all the time.

"You're the smartest person I know-"

"That's because you don't know Shuri-"

"-And you're using your intelligence and your skills to create this, something that will definitely help save millions of lives. Don't you see it? You're always saying how you want to be like Tony Stark, but, babe- You're already like him. You're even better. You're a hero for a lot of people, in and out of the mask, and these actions are just a proof of that." He put his hands on Peter's cheeks, carefully cleaning some tears that were going down his face. "I know you're my hero, Peter."

Peter deserved to know just how special he was, no matter the circumstances, and he was going to do that.  
He promised Tony Stark himself that he was going to make Peter happy, and that was his most important objective.

If they kissed as a reward for Peter's happiness, that was just an added bonus.

* * *

**SPIDEY PROTECTION SQUAD**

**spidey:** i lived

[Attached: _A picture of him and Flash laying down in what seems to be a bed, both of them in Star Wars pijamas and cuddling. Peter's face is still beaten up, but his injuries are cleaned and patched up._ ]

**tragic sketch:** Did someone stab Skip?

**spidey:** loki did

**tragic sketch:** Then I'm at peace

**chair man:** PETER I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE OKAY

**spidey:** ned pls, i could never die and not bring u w/ me

**chair man:** Bitch, you better not

**tragic sketch:** Are you nerds up for some DnD tomorrow?

**spidey:** :0

**chair man:** :0

**bitch:** :0

**tragic sketch:** Yes, you dramatic bitches, I did suggest a DnD session at my own will. Accept before I change my mind

**chair man:** Can we order Thai?

**spidey:** hold the fuck on  
**spidey:** its my turn to order!!!!

**chair man:** But you're going to order Italiaaaaaaaan

**tragic sketch:** You always order Italian  
**tragic sketch:** I will stab you with my penne

**spidey:** FINE  
**spidey:** ill order indian, are u bitches happy?

**tragic sketch:** Very

**chair man:** A lot!

**spidey:** italian is the superior food jsyk

**tragic sketch:** Shut the fuck up

**chair man:** You're my best friend but seriously shut it

**spidey:** traitors, both of you

* * *

**tony stank > parkour**

**tony stank:** Are you sure you're okay?

**parkour:** i am, mr stark

**tony stank:** Just checking

**parkour:** can we do my socks an open patent?

**tony stank:** Of course we can, kiddo

**parkour:** thx

**tony stank:** Anytime

* * *

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

waddup

[Attached: _A video of Spider-Man._

_In the video Spider-Man is sitting on front of the camera, his mask on. He cleared his throat before talking, clearly nervous about what he was doing._

_"Okay, so, it's been a week since Peter Parker was brought home. In that week he managed to put his aunt and friends in a safe place, with the help of The Avengers, and he launched the open patent for the 'Tracker Socks' with the help of Tony Stark and Ned Leeds. He has definitely had a busy week, that kid."_

_Spider-Man laughed nervously before breathing deeply, trying hard to start to speak again._

_"And it made me realize, they're safe. My family and friends are safe. That's all I wanted before revealing my identity and so, without the blessing and with a certain lecture from both Mrs. Potts and Mr. Stark, I want to tell the world..." Spider-Man reached up to take off his mask, and smiled, showing the world that he was Peter Parker. "I'm Spider-Man."_ ]

* * *

**_Danni @danni.vazquezz_ **

WHAT THE FUCK?!

____

**_partly broken @gogobebe_ **

i'm freaking out

____

**_Midnight Cinderella @fairythot_ **

What the fuck just happened????

____

**_Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc_ **

I forgot how to breathe

____

**_Moonlit @cindy_mo0n_ **

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

* * *

**AVENGAYS**

**boss ass bitch:** PETER WHAT THE FUCK.

**baby spider:** im tired of being afraid, mrs pott. i realized that being spiderman gave me the courage i didnt know i had, but lately it only happened when i had my mask on, and that feeling got worse when i graduated  
**baby spider:** and i realized that the mask made me feel like i had a power normal me didnt have, and that power was being unknown. i felt invisible, untouchable, when i was spiderman and not peter parker, you know? and i was afraid that that feeling was going to get in my head and made me hurt someone innocent while i was out being spiderman  
**baby spider:** so now that my family is safe, i decided to stop that feeling. im no longer two different people. peter parker is spiderman, spiderman is peter parker; theres no difference now, and hopefully now i dont feel invisible while being in my suit and helpless without it

**boss ass bitch:** ...  
**boss ass bitch:** Thank you for telling us, Peter.  
**boss ass bitch:** I'm really proud of you.

**baby spider:** you know what?  
**baby spider:** im proud of myself too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the normal narration on this chapter?  
> Yeah, I apologize for that  
> It's cringy, but it was needed 
> 
> But, the world knows who's Spiderman!!!!  
> And Pride Month is almost over, so next chapter is definitely gonna be them going to a Pride Parade


	11. the avengers said queer rights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shower singer @tailored_prince
> 
> imagine getting unofficially adopted by tony stark and pepper potts, spidey is just living on his own reader fanfic right now
> 
> Junior Spider @spiderman in response to @tailored_prince
> 
> hey so thank u for ruining my life forever

**WE GUCCI**

**salty:** @mario PETER BENJAMIN PARKER IS BEEN THE 8TH TIME WE @ YOU JUST COME OUT YOU LITTLE B I T C H

**luigi:** He's currently very busy yeeting his phone out of a window

**bon jovivi:** i mean, mood, but also, the fuck?

**luigi:** Sensory overload :/

**salty:** OH NO DID I DO THAT OMG I'M SO SORRY AAAAAAAH

**luigi:** No, no! You're fine, don't worry!  
**luigi:** He accidentally unmuted the notifications for his Spidey Twitter account so the notifications came in like a wave and it shutted down his brain

**Lucio main:** *windows shut down noise*

**MCR:** lol

**moonmoon:** reading that message still doesn't feel real  
**moonmoon:** you mean to tell me we painted a mustache on spiderman and everything he did as revenge was give us coffee with salt?

**salty:** soft boi™

**dash:** the softest™

**salty:** Y O U

**dash:** oh fuck

**bon jovivi:** flash, first of all, what the fuck  
**bon jovivi:** second of all  
**bon jovivi:** what the f u C K

**salty:** i mean, we get the whole secret identity ordeal and yada yada  
**salty:** but how did you guys manage to not be cute at all at school?  
**salty:** just last week peter posted nine pictures of you two on his spiderman instagram, you guys are gross

**MCR:** T h a n k y o u

**dash:** it took a lot of self-control and a confidentiality agreement with the avengers that included our relationship

**bon jovivi:** oof

**dash:** oof indeed

**moonmoon:** so, you're dating a superhero  
**moonmoon:** a superhero that you used to bully  
**moonmoon:** :/

**dash:** uh  
**dash:** yeah

**MCR:** He already had to face Pepper and Nat because of it lol

**dash:** you still haven't thrown out the drawings you did of me that day

**MCR:** And I never will, lover boy

**Lucio main:** whats with that nickname, anyways?

**luigi:** Oh boy

**dash:** don't you dare, bitches

**MCR:** And why wouldn't I dare, Eugene?

**dash:** ... >:(  
**dash:** fuck you

**luigi:** Are we even allowed to tell?

**MCR:** brb

**salty:** did i travel to another dimension or did mj just call black widow nat?

**moonmoon:** if flash called her bitch and lived, i somehow don't feel impressed by this

**luigi:** You guys are taking this more calmly than I thought

**salty:** i'm good at masking that i'm freaking out

**moonmoon:** i dissociated from this a lot time ago

**bon jovivi:** everything we know is a lie

**Lucio main:** whats life, anyway

**luigi:** Yeah, I take that back

**MCR:** Pepper says we're good to go

**salty:** i will just shut up and accept the fact that i secretly hate you right now

**MCR:** Duly noted  
**MCR:** So, a common nickname the Avengers have for Flash is lover boy, and that has a really simple explanation

**dash:** please shut the fuck up

**MCR:** No  
**MCR:** You ate my samosas, it's payback time

**dash:** if i recall correctly, you ate my pizza rolls last week

**MCR:** There's no evidence of that ever happening

**dash:** bitch, my hurt feelings aren't enough evidence?

**MCR:** No, and shut up, let me tell my story

**moonmoon:** oh, okay, so that happened

**bon jovivi:** everything we know is a lie x2

**MCR:** Long story short, Flash found out that Peter was Spiderman because he recognized his laugh

**salty:** ...

**moonmoon:** ...

**bon jovivi:** ...

**Lucio main:** ...

**salty:** i'm sorry, what was that?

**Lucio main:** H I S L A U G H

**moonmoon:** *whip.mp3*

**bon jovivi:** [Attached: _The Jacksepticeye meme of him smashing the white board while screaming "LAUGH"._ ]

**dash:** the only one i forgive is charles because jacksepticeye is my favorite youtuber

**bon jovivi:** uwu

**dash:** nvm, he can fucking perish

**luigi:** Peter freaked out when Flash found out

**dash:** yh, he showed me the chat and then told me "my monkey brain suddenly took over and everything i felt was panic"

**Lucio main:** damn, he should learn to not panic at the disco

**dash:** i hate you so much, abe

**Lucio main:** thank u man, ur support means so much to me  
**Lucio main:** now froggy and i can eat

**moonmoon:** oh! how's froggy doing?

**Lucio main:** shes doing fine! tomorrow im getting her new little pond finished, so i will move her out to the bigger tank with beat boy!

**salty:** i still can't believe you named your frog beat boy

**bon jovivi:** i still can't believe you named your turtle froggy

**Lucio main:** u haters would never understand

**luigi:** Anyway  
**luigi:** Peter's getting a new phone later today because Tony Stark is acting like a spoiling dad, so you can yell at him then

**salty:** thank you for telling me, i want to yell

**moonmoon:** hell yeah girl

**MCR:** Ugh, your mind

* * *

**_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **

if any of u were around the avengers tower and saw a phone being yeeted from the balcony, that was my phone and im sorry

_**Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@spiderman**_

Are you okay?

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@spidermanfanacc**_

define okay

_**Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@spiderman**_

Fair

____

_**Danni @danni.vazquezz** in response to **@spiderman**_

Aren't you worried that someone might snoop around your phone?

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@danni.vazquezz**_

1) i doubt my phone survived that fall and 2) if it did, any sensible info is encrypted and protected by friday, who deleted all files from my phone and uploaded them to the cloud as soon as the phone was thrown off the window

_**Danni @danni.vazquezz** in response to **@spiderman**_

Damn, can I have a Friday?

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@danni.vazquezz**_

i dont think mr stark is too eager to share his kid lol

____

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

okay, but why?

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

me big stupid

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

sis, we've been knew

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

lol fuck u

____

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@spiderman**_

you idiot

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

dont be mean :(

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@spiderman**_

you idiot ❤

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

kkdlalskskdk ❤

* * *

**WE GUCCI**

**mario:** 1) i didnt tell u guys for reasons i listed on my twitter account when the rumors about me and flash being boyfriends started (which ended being true, but not at that time lol)  
2) i forgave flash. we mended things, he has the avengers and my aunts approval and i made the first move. he has been nothing but respectful towards me and he also punched skip when he kidnapped me. like, a lot  
3) every1 that knew figured it out themselves. i didnt tell any1 abt me being spiderman even tho i suck at keeping secrets  
4) its me thats sticky, not the suit  
5) yes, i can swing u guys around whenever u want if im not busy  
6) no, i dont speak to spiders  
7) YES I COULDVE GONE FOR THE BALL THAT ONE TIME BUT I DIDNT BLEASE DONT BRING IT UP I FEEL GUILTY FOR THAT SQUIRREL

**MCR:** That poor mama squirrel...

**mario:** DONT

**salty:** that covers pretty much everything i was curious about

**bon jovivi:** question

**mario:** shoot

**bon jovivi:** do you, black widow, antman and the wasp have a bug squad?

**mario:** WE DO!!!!!  
**mario:** every time we get to go together to a mission i get so excited because working with them is so much fun!!!  
**mario:** even tho we mainly go to stealth missions

**salty:** is thor just a big puppy?

**mario:** he is, it does nothing to help my crush on him

**moonmoon:** f

**dash:** is bucky ever gonna give me my controller back?

**mario:** im afraid he is not

**dash:** >:/

**Lucio main:** falcons overwatch main

**mario:** right now? ashe

**Lucio main:** i took him as a pharah main

**mario:** he mained her on season 9 i think?

**Lucio main:** :/

**moonmoon:** is pepper a queen?

**mario:** shes a mf empress, hands down

**moonmoon:** wise man

**bon jovivi:** how did you get your powers?

**mario:** a radioactive spider bit me on our oscorp field trip

**bon jovivi:** what the fucketh

**moonmoon:** so you took spider-like abilities?

**mario:** yep  
**mario:** and im not allowed to disclose any of my abilities because pepper will ground me if i do

**moonmoon:** damn, there goes my chances of recreating the spider for myself

**mario:** i kno ur joking but it actually scares me that ur smart enough to actually be capable of recreating the spider so pls no

**moonmoon:** brb crying

**Lucio main:** what team?

**mario:** WILDCATS!

**dash:** google search is it prudent to propose marriage to my boyfriend even though we have only dated for almost a month

**mario:** LKDlKSKSKSKKDLD

**salty:** and so, it begins  
**salty:** the pda

**MCR:** You guys are screwed

* * *

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** _

mom said i cant do a q & a here so u guys can stop flooding my tweets with questions thx

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

no wait hold on i have a question

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

only bc i like u

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

who's mom?

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

**_@peppervpotts_** uwu uwu!!!

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@spiderman** and **@shuri**_

Kid, you broke Pepper, what the hell?

* * *

**_Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc_ **

M O M

____

**_SWINGING BOTH WAYS @spideyfan_ **

These IronFam feelings are just getting stronger

____

**_Carrot @carriecarrot_ **

we stan a happy and adorable family

____

**_I don't speak to managers @karen_matthh_ **

Morgan will grow up with the best big brother there is and I accept no criticism on this

_**Van Dyne @itsthewasp** in response to **@karen_matthh**_

You're right and you should say it

____

**_Shower singer @tailored_prince_ **

imagine getting unofficially adopted by tony stark and pepper potts, spidey is just living on his own reader fanfic right now

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@tailored_prince**_

hey so thank u for ruining my life forever

* * *

**_Avengers Initiative @Avengers_ **

Put on your makeup, heels and bring out your flags! Some of the Avengers will attend to the Pride Parade happening next Saturday! No cops at pride, only the Avengers! **#Pride #PrideMonth**

* * *

**_TRANS RIGHTS @galaxygallade_ **

NO COPS AT PRIDE, ONLY THE AVENGERS! I MF CALLED IT!

____

_**P R I D E @wlw_warrior** _

I know no female Avengers have come out, but I really hope to see one of the queens at the parade

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@wlw_warrior**_

is a lesbian princess enough?

_**P R I D E @wlw_warrior** in response to **@shuri**_

WHAT NFMLAKSKSKDK

____

**_duck @duck_ **

the wakandan royal family is fabulous

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@duck**_

damn right we are

_**T'Challa @blackpanther** in response to **@duck** and **@shuri**_

You speak only the truth.

____

**_Black Panthot @felicitystanacc_ **

I wonder if T'Challa is going to be at the parade, and if he's going to bring his boyfriends with him

_**T'Challa @blackpanther** in response to **@felicitystanacc**_

One of my boyfriends can be described as a cop, and I'm at the understanding that cops are not welcomed at pride.

_**Black Panthot @felicitystanacc** in response to **@blackpanther**_

He's invited

_**T'Challa @blackpanther** in response to **@felicitystanacc**_

Hm. Then I will let him know and, perhaps, the three of us can surprise you.

_**Black Panthot @felicitystanacc** in response to **@blackpanther**_

IM?????

* * *

**are u shuri > pink panther**

**are u shuri:** are you for real?

**pink panther:** Yes. While M'Baku doesn't really care if the world knows or not, Everett has been excited about coming out in Pride Month, and we want to support him and make him happy.

**are u shuri:** damn, you guys are really going in strong, aren't you?

**pink panther:** You could say so.

**are u shuri:** i can make you a rainbow panther suit if you want

**pink panther:** That's really not necessary.

**are u shuri:** i'm doing it

**pink panther:** Why do I even bother, really.

* * *

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** _

u guys already kno im one of the avengers going to pride lol

> **_Junior Spider @spiderman_ **
> 
> which means im legally allowed to web up any1 being homophobic in my presence
> 
> _**NYPD @NYPD** in response to **@spiderman**_
> 
> No, you aren't.
> 
> _**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@NYPD**_
> 
> yes, i am. i have a permit
> 
> [Attached: _A bad MS Paint drawing that says "i can do what i want"._ ]
> 
> **_NYPD @NYPD_ ** _in response to **@spiderman**_
> 
> ... If there are not injuries, maybe we can let it slide.
> 
> _**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@NYPD**_
> 
> no promises

* * *

_***hacker voice* i'm** **in** **@shuri** _

so, no. i wasn't joking. good day, world, i'm shuri, and i'm lesbian. i will not be taking questions into the matter

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

i thought u were wakandan

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

i truly do love you, you idiot

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

uwu ❤

* * *

_**P R I D E @wlw_warrior** _

So I've decided that Shuri is now my queen.

____

**_if she breathes @thotlandia_ **

**_@princessthotof_ **babe you owe me 15 bucks

_**SHE'S A THOT @princessthotof** in response to **@thotlandia**_

Damn, my bi radar really broke this time

____

**_howdy bitch @jesseen_ **

shuri is a true queen and if any of you look down on her now because she's lesbian you're clowns

____

**_Fatimah @fatimah_H_ **

Since Wakanda opened its doors, I've looked up at Shuri. She's a black 17 y/o girl, and she's the smartest human in this planet, so as a black woman she inspired me.

> **_Fatimah @fatimah_H_ **
> 
> And now that she came out as lesbian, I can't help but look up at her even more. She has so much courage, and she's taking over a world ruled by white old men.
> 
> **_Fatimah @fatimah_H_ **
> 
> Shuri really gives me a courage I didn't know I had, and it's all because she's herself. She hasn't let anyone bring her down, and I'm sure she will do a lot of good to the world that she owns nothing to.
> 
> **_Fatimah @fatimah_H_ **
> 
> So, thank you, Shuri, for being courageous. There will be people that will hate you for being yourself, but there will be a whole lot more that will accept and love you like we always did, and perhaps even more.
> 
> _***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@fatimah_H**_
> 
> you have no idea of how much i'm crying right now because of this, please tell me you will be at pride this saturday so i can hug you
> 
> _**Fatimah @fatimah_H** in response to **@shuri**_
> 
> !!!! I will be!!!
> 
> _***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@fatimah_H**_
> 
> cool, so you can expect an enormous hug from me

* * *

**SCOOBY GANG**

**snek:** Stephen is refusing to match with me so you can expect us to be late.

**tincan:** Gdi, you two are always late

**snek:** This time is Stephen's fault.

**tincan:** And last time was because you couldn't find your eyeliner

**snek:** Shut it.

**puppy:** Bruce and I are almost at New York! He's a little tired, so I don't know if we'll stay the entire day

**tincan:** He doesn't like being carried?

**puppy:** Not in public, no

**tincan:** His loss

**boss:** Who else is running late?

**baby:** gene and i!!!! were sorry, we got too competitive at mario kart

**boss:** Are you even dressed?

**baby:** ... were still on our pajamas

**boss:** ...  
**boss:** Who else?

**stabby:** So, heels or combat boots?

**boss:** You will walk a lot, boots are a better option.

**stabby:** :/  
**stabby:** Well, I'm running late too, I have to plan another outfit that goes with combat boots

**boss:** What about those ragged jeans Clint got you with the red blouse I gave you on your birthday?

**stabby:** Oh, that will work  
**stabby:** I'm not longer running late

**furry:** M'Baku, Everett and I are on our way with Shuri.

**boss:** Ah, please say hi to Everett for me!

**furry:** Will do.

**boss:** Anyone else wanting to ruin my itinerary?

**ass:** ... Bucky and I just woke up.

**boss:** I give up.

* * *

**_Tony @youknowwhoiam_ **

Be on the lookout for the Avengers car, because a good bunch of our team will be there! And surprise guests too

____

**_Senior Spider @blackwidowbaby_ **

I look fabulous so you guys better appreciate it

____

**_Flash @flashthompson2_ **

what's life anyway

____

**_*hacker voice* i'm in @shuri_ **

help my brother refuses to stop kissing his boyfriends i want to yeet myself out of this car

____

**_Pepper Potts @peppervpotts_ **

In case you guys wondered why Steve and Bucky aren't on the car, they're grounded and they will walk.

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@peppervpotts**_

no offense peps, but that's a lame punishment

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

I can make it worse if you want.

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@peppervpotts**_

i'm suddenly smart and i will shut up now

* * *

**_Smithsonian Fossil @barbecye_ **

Okay, so I recognize Everett Ross, but who's T'Challa's other boyfriend? **_@okoye_ _@shuri_**

_**Okoye @okoye** in response to **@barbecye**_

That would be M'Baku. He's the leader of one of the Wakandan tribes, the Jabari.

_**Smithsonian Fossil @barbecye** in response to **@okoye**_

Oh! I have heard of the Jabari, but they're really not in the open that much, right?

_**Okoye @okoye** in response to **@barbecye**_

You would be correct.

_**Smithsonian Fossil @barbecye** in response to **@okoye**_

Damn, T'Challa really knows how to pick his men.

_**Okoye @okoye** in response to **@barbecye**_

Don't blow up his ego.

____

**_Jared, 19 @whatupimj_ **

Spiderman is wearing a suit with the bi colors on it and T'Challa is wearing a suit with the gay flag colors, I really stan two kings

_**T'Challa @blackpanther** in response to **@whatupimj**_

You can thank Shuri for the suits. **_@shuri_**

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@whatupimj** and **@blackpanther**_

i'm only fulfilling my duty as both of your sisters

____

**_Loki hugged me @standc_ **

So, Loki just teletransported me to the NY parade and now I'm casually sitting on this car with him and Doctor Strange? Life truly feels fake right now

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@standc**_

You're my impulse control right now.

_**Loki hugged me @standc** in response to **@godofmischief**_

Fake

____

**_Dr. Strange, PhD @doctorstrange_ **

Ah, yes, I should use this more, shouldn't I? So yes, I am here with Loki, we are matching, and if I see any post calling us anything but a power couple I will be disappointed

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@doctorstrange**_

Stop it, I'm supposed to be the dramatic one in this relationship.

_**Dr. Strange, PhD @doctorstrange** in response to **@godofmischief**_

You will have to fight me for the rights, then.

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@doctorstrange**_

You'll regret ever defying me.

____

**_Loki hugged me @standc_ **

So, I want to expose Loki and Dr. Strange and say that they're actually just sipping iced tea while grinning like idiots

_**Loki @godofmischief** in response to **@standc**_

You're not longer my best friend.

* * *

**_Guy in the chair @ned.leeds_ **

Gay Rights!

[Attached: _A photo of Ned, MJ, Shuri, Peter and Flash. They're all huddled together and doing silly faces. Peter is wearing his bi suit without his mask on, Flash has gay flags painted on his cheeks and both MJ and Shuri have lesbian flags on their cheeks. The parade can be seen in the background, with multiple flags popping out in a blur._ ]

_**My friends are traitors @michelle_jones1** in response to **@ned.leeds**_

Damn, we look like idiots. I love it

____

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@ned.leeds**_

i have known you guys for less than a day, but if anything happened to any of you i will kill everyone on this country and then myself

____

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@ned.leeds**_

this photo really has two of the smartest teenagers in the world huh

____

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@ned.leeds**_

ur squad could never

_**Guy in the chair @ned.leeds** in response to **@peterbparker**_

Why did you change accounts? :0

_**P.P @peterbparker** in response to **@ned.leeds**_

nat is tagging me in every photo she sees where i look like i want to sneeze and i want to escape my demise

_**Guy in the chair @ned.leeds** in response to **@peterbparker**_

Damn, F

* * *

_**gammahammer @lizzyships** _

i have to laugh at the fact that we really relate monarchy with straights, meanwhile the king and princess of wakanda and the king and prince of asgard are all queer

_**Smithsonian Fossil @barbecye** in response to **@lizzyships**_

I didn't make that connection until you mentioned it and now I'm laughing really loud.

____

**_PAIN.gif @capholtonmain_ **

Can we talk about the fact that a big bunch of Earth's defenders are queer?

_**duck @duck** in response to **@capholtonmain**_

it really makes me feel more safe tbh

____

_**bug squad @trevor_fae** _

i haven't seen ant-man nor the wasp and it saddens me

_**Lang @itsantman** in response to **@trevor_fae**_

**_@itsthewasp_** look, people wanted to see us there!!!

_**Van Dyne @itsthewasp** in response to **@trevor_fae** and **@itsantman**_

Aw, that's so sweet! Don't worry, we're simply running late, but we'll be there with the flying guys as soon as we can!

_**bug squad @trevor_fae** in response to **@itsantman** and **@itsthewasp**_

my day suddenly got a whole lot better, thank you!!

____

**_STUCKY FANGIRL @cammyscreams_ **

so, we all know that steve and bucky are walking. and i want to share this

[Attached: _A video from the middle of the parade, focused on Steve and Bucky. In it they can be seen crouching next to a girl in a wheelchair, counting to three and then lifting up the girl to Steve's shoulders, her chair being folded and carried by Bucky. The girl is heard laughing shakily and then raising her arms to let her trans flag fly before the video cuts._ ]

_**TRANS RIGHTS @galaxygallade** in response to **@cammyscreams**_

I? Love them????

____

**_oh captain, my captain @gaysince1996_** _in response to **@cammyscreams**_

cap effortlessly carrying that girl is the reason of my good nights of sleep

____

**_if she breathes @thotlandia_ **

There isn't a single religious protest happening next to the parade and I really want to thank the Avengers for this blessing

* * *

**_Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon_ **

The flying squad (and company) are here

[Attached: _A selfie of Sam, Rhodey, Hope and Scott. All of them are smiling, with Sam and Hope having pan flags painted on their cheeks and Rhodey and Scott having bi flags. Someone can be seen escaping the photo in a blur._ ]

_**grass @grass** in response to **@THEfalcon**_

who's that blur?

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@grass**_

Scott's bae

____

**_Lang @itsantman_ **

my bf didn't want to be on the photo because sam refused to stop giving him bunny ears >:(

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@itsantman**_

The strong defeats the weak

_**Lang @itsantman** in response to **@THEfalcon**_

call him weak again and there will be a repeat of our first encounter

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@itsantman**_

Oh, it's on, regular sized man

____

**_War Machine Was Here @colrhodes_ **

People know I was married to Tony and yet they're surprised I'm bi? Smh

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@colrhodes**_

Truly a disgrace

_**War Machine Was Here @colrhodes** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

I'm actually offended everyone thought I was straight this whole time.

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@colrhodes**_

That's because you refused to be part of my wedding

_**War Machine Was Here @colrhodes** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

Sorry, Tony. I love you but I'm monogamous. We'll resume this talk when Pepper finally dumps you in exchange for mental stability

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** in response to **@colrhodes** and **@youknowwhoiam**_

Rhodey! Don't go around exposing my plans!

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@colrhodes** and **@peppervpotts**_

I've,,,,, been betrayed

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** in response to **@colrhodes** and **@youknowwhoiam**_

And I'm keeping the company, jsyk.

_**War Machine Was Here @colrhodes** in response to **@youknowwhoiam** and **@peppervpotts**_

If that's the case then I don't know you, Tony.

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@colrhodes** and **@peppervpotts**_

You two just lost your cuddling rights

_**Pepper Potts @peppervpotts** in response to **@colrhodes** and **@youknowwhoiam**_

Then we'll cuddle each other. Right, Rhodey?

_**War Machine Was Here @colrhodes** in response to **@youknowwhoiam** and **@peppervpotts**_

Of course, Pepper. It would be my honor to cuddle with you.

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@colrhodes** and **@peppervpotts**_

Unbelievable

____

**_Van Dyne @itsthewasp_ **

I'm a pan with a plan

_**Lang @itsantman** in response to **@itsthewasp**_

you have multiple plans and it's terrifying

_**Van Dyne @itsthewasp** in response to **@itsantman**_

I'm a pan with a lot of plans*

* * *

_**P R I D E @wlw_warrior** _

This was the best pride parade I've ever been to and I think I'm dehydrated for crying so much

____

**_TRANS RIGHTS @galaxygallade_ **

I love the Avengers and if people still think they're not worthy of trust I will fight them

____

**_Carrot @carriecarrot_ **

i nearly missed this parade and that's the saddest i've ever been in my life. i'm so glad i got to come because this pride was amazing

____

**_PAIN.gif @capholtonmain_ **

The Avengers getting off the car and talking to everyone in the parade and offering help was the highlight of my day

____

_**duck @duck** _

the only cops that can come at pride are t'challa and antman's boyfriends. that's a rule now

____

**_Witchy on Main @scarlet.witch_ **

Even though Vision, Clint, Pepper and I didn't go, we all are extremely happy that you guys enjoyed yourselves! Happy pride, everyone!

* * *

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** _

me big gay

[Attached: _A picture of Peter and Flash hugging. They're laid down on a couch, and Peter has his face hidden on Flash's chest. They seem to be sleeping, and they're still wearing the clothes they had for the parade._ ]

_**Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc** in response to **@spiderman**_

Who took this???

_**My friends are traitors @michelle_jones1** in response to **@spiderman** and **@spidermanfanacc**_

I took it and I uploaded it. My samosas are finally avenged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS FINALLY DONE. JESUS CHRIST, MY FINGERS.
> 
> So, yes  
> Pride parade   
> Because me big gay
> 
> Next chapter will probably be a Spidey q & a and then maybe we'll focus more on other characters? Peter's arc is technically complete at this point, lol
> 
> And, yes. The world knows who are T'Challa's boyfriends now. Without the intervention of news outlets because I'm lazy  
> But I enjoy of everyone telling the world their gayness on their own terms. Outing people is bad, never do it
> 
> Also, can you guys tell that I didn't know how to end this chapter? lol


	12. eat the rich

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** _

all of us saw good omens last night and now my life is a mess

> _**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** _
> 
> anyway if any of you don't see how gay aziraphale and crowley are for each other you're blind

____

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** _

damn, babe _**@flashthompson2**_ i wish u also figured out how to stop time if i threatened u with a cold shoulder

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@spiderman**_

you literally cannot stay two minutes without tagging me on a meme

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@flashthompson2**_

buT WHAT IF IS A MEME U HAVENT SEEN

_**Flash @flashthompson2** in response to **@spiderman**_

how the fuck can you make that such a sweet sentence i hate you

____

_**Witchy on Main @scarlet.witch** _

I'm officially changing my suit so I can cosplay as Crowley on our next fight.

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@scarlet.witch**_

make vision go as aziraphale

_**Witchy on Main @scarlet.witch** in response to **@spiderman**_

Already done! ❤

____

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** _

You guys can expect a Good Omens spam coming from all the Avengers on the next few days

_**Original Bird Avenger @hawkeye** in response to **@youknowwhoiam**_

they should be grateful were gonna grace them with a masterpiece

_**Tony @youknowwhoiam** in response to **@hawkeye**_

I never said they shouldn't

____

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** _

three kids, the antichrist and a hellhound stormed a military base and they really expect 50,000 people to not be able to storm area 51

_**My friends are traitors @michelle_jones1** in response to **@shuri**_

They're so naive.

___

**_T'Challa @blackpanther_ **

Anyway, support Good Omens while still sabotaging Amazon.

_**Steve Barnes @captainamerica** in response to **@blackpanther**_

That's a statement I can fully support.

____

_**Lang @itsantman** _

crowley exudes big dumbass energy™ and i can relate to that

_**Van Dyne @itsthewasp** in response to **@itsantman**_

Shutting down signal towers and then trying to call me is something I see you doing.

_**Lang @itsantman** in response to **@itsthewasp**_

thank you for resuming my personality in one tweet.

* * *

**_Steve Barnes @dinnerplateshield_ **

In an unrelated note, and interrupting my Good Omens spam, I'm officially not Captain America anymore until this fucking government changes.

> _**Steve Barnes @dinnerplateshield** _
> 
> Concentration camps? Hate crimes rising? Banning abortion and giving it a death sentence? A literal fascist as our president? I will not carry that with my name.
> 
> **_Steve Barnes @dinnerplateshield_ **
> 
> You can continue to call me Captain. You can also choose to call me Steve, Rogers or "that guy that has a shield the size of a dinner plate, got shot in the legs and is also an idiot."
> 
> _**Steve Barnes @dinnerplateshield** _
> 
> But I will not represent America on its current state. That's not what I stand for, that's not what I defend and it will never be.
> 
> _**Steve Barnes @dinnerplateshield** _
> 
> I didn't get frozen for 60+ years so this kind of bullshit could still exist. I'm done.
> 
> **_Steve Barnes @dinnerplateshield_ **
> 
> Anyway, support Good Omens and fuck Trump.

* * *

**_Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996_ **

NOTHING BUT RESPECT FOR /MY/ CAPTAIN

____

_**Carrot @carriecarrot** _

i'm fucking screaming

____

_**duck @duck** _

and cap proves once again to be a fucking legend

____

**_Currently dying @mindreading_ **

Hey so I'm crying

____

_**sicko mode @kassssssidy** _

wow guys i can't believe that steve rogers got elected president of my heart

____

**_howdy bitch @jesseen_ **

fuck area 51, let's storm the white house and overthrow the president so steve rogers governs the country

____

**_Danni @danni.vazquezz_ **

**#StormTheWhiteHouse**

____

_**partly broken @gogobebe** _

**#stormthewhitehouse**

____

**_Midnight Cinderella @fairythot_ **

**#StormTheWhiteHouse**

____

**_Hurt him and I'll hurt you @spidermanfanacc_ **

**#StormTheWhiteHouse**

____

_**Steve Barnes @dinnerplateshield** _

What the hell, guys.

* * *

**SCOOBY GANG**

**ass:** Pepper please don't ground me, I had nothing to do with this.

 **boss:** Honestly I'm not even mad.  
 **boss:** I've just been ignoring the PR mails since this started because you just started a meme and I'm not getting involved with that.

 **baby:** theres like an event on facebook w/ 90k assistants already

 **boss:** Yeah, I'm not getting involved in this.

 **arm:** can you imagine that they actually do it and stevie gets elected president

 **ass:** Please don't.

 **tincan:** Damn, can we be your senate

 **ass:** You guys already know the answer to that, but there's no way people are actually going to storm the White House.

 **baby:** lol ur r8. ppl just liek 2 meem

 **ass:** Peter, your writing physically hurts me.

 **baby:** sucks 2 suck mr rogers

 **arm:** he already does that

 **tincan:** God damn it

 **boss:** And that's my cue to go.

 **green:** There's a reason I never enter these groupchats...

 **ass:** Bruce! How's everything going?

 **green:** Hi Steve! Things are going great.  
 **green:** A sheep ate Loki's hair this morning so that was fun.

 **arm:** aw, now i miss my sheep :(  
 **arm:** _@smart_ can i go visit them

 **smart:** of course you can!  
 **smart:** i'm sure dopey and sleepy miss you a lot

 **arm:** noooo, my babies

 **baby:** did u name them after the 7 dwarfs?

 **arm:** yeh

 **baby:** thats so wholesome wtf

 **green:** That's actually adorable.

 **arm:** gdi my reputation

 **baby:** bitch, what reputation

 **smart:** bitch, what reputation  
 **smart:** FUCK

 **baby:** haha i won

 **smart:** stfu and go kiss your boyfriend, ya nasty

 **baby:** hes on a job interview

 **ass:** Eugene is looking for a job?

 **green:** He didn't take Tony's offer?

 **baby:** no, he said he wanted to win a job on his own merits and not just bc hes dating me  
baby: im so proud of him

 **smart:** anyway, while you keep being gross  
 **smart:** _@arm_ you can come whenever you want  
 **smart:** and bring your broken white boy with you

 **arm:** YES I'M GONNA SEE MY BABIES

* * *

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** _

in wakanda paying a visit to my babies with my baby _**@dinnerplateshield**_

[Attached: _A selfie of Bucky and Steve. They're on the left side of the picture, both smiling brightly, Bucky's prosthetic thrown over Steve's shoulders. The rest of the picture is taken by seven sheep scattered around the place._ ]

_**Strongest Avenger @godofthunder** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!

_**Dr. Bruce Banner @brucebanner** in response to **@buckybarnes** and **@godofthunder**_

Fun fact: Thor loves sheep.

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@godofthunder** and **@brucebanner**_

that's okay. that's not adorable at all

_**Steve Barnes @dinnerplateshield** in response to **@buckybarnes, @godofthunder** and **@brucebanner**_

He's crying.

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@godofthunder, @brucebanner** and **@dinnerplateshield**_

DON'T EXPOSE ME!

* * *

**_Tundra Wolf @buckyarm_ **

Bucky calling a herd of sheep his babies is so fucking adorable wtf my heart

____

**_Oh Captain, My Captain @gaysince1996_ **

their smiles just killed me

____

**_thunder thighs @thirstyforagod_ **

Thor loving sheep? Adorable. Breathtaking. The reason I walk this earth

____

**_He gave me permission @soarin_flyin_ **

we're finally getting feed with the bucky content we deserve

____

**_gammahammer @lizzyships_ **

the fact that bruce hasn't been active on twitter for weeks and then appears out of nowhere to say how adorable his boyfriend is? i want that

* * *

**PICK A FUCKING SUPPORT, BUCKY**

**annoying tank main:** How's the vacation going, boys?

 **gay soldier main:** It's amazing. Bucky and I are staying at his old place and it's so peaceful.  
 **gay soldier main:** Except for the fact that the sheep are really noisy.

 **snipe your existence:** yah, those are sheep, alright

 **let me play genji:** stevie refuses to pet grumpy

 **gay soldier main:** If you named him Grumpy it must be for a reason!

 **put ur fucking shield up:** i would pet grumpy

 **annoying tank main:** You pet any animal that cross your way, Peter

 **put ur fucking shield up:** BC EVERY ANIMAL DESERVES LOVE, NAT

 **snipe your existence:** lucky once cried because i didn't pet him his usual two minutes and i never felt more emotionally manipulated

 **annoying tank main:** You're weak

 **snipe your existence:** stfu

 **annoying tank main:** No

 **bob is useless:** Imma interrupt this and say that I finally convinced Wanda to join our team

 **annoying tank main:** You just condemned the poor girl, Sam 

 **let me play genji:** fuck yeah, we're finally gonna have a support

 **snipe your existence:** me, with 13 hrs with ana: am i a joke to you?

 **let me play genji:** stfu, you never nano me

 **snipe your existence:** YOU ALWAYS SOLO ULT THE BRIGITTES

 **let me play genji:** WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, LET THEM LIVE?

 **bob is useless:** I fucking hate you guys

* * *

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

his highness is afraid of doc

[Attached: _A picture of T'Challa, part of his body blurry as he seems to run away from a white sheep who seems to have bitten his suit._ ]

_**T'Challa @blackpanther** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

He hates me.

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@blackpanther**_

doc is a sweetheart, what are you talking about

_**T'Challa @blackpanther** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

He most certainly hates me.

* * *

**_*hacker voice* i'm in @shuri_ **

did you guys know that when bucky and my brother have a double date, a "my boyfriend is better" war starts?

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

k, but thats actually unfair bc mr tchalla has two bfs??? hes obvs gonna win

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

so... my brother is basically cheating

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

pretty much, yh

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

_**@blackpanther**_ lmao u suck

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@shuri**_

im pretty sure he does

_***hacker voice* i'm in @shuri** in response to **@spiderman**_

i will pull out your spine and stab you with it

* * *

**SCOOBY GANG**

**baby:** gene: y did u stop  
me: *trying 2 remember how 2 spell coconut*

 **tincan:** NO

 **baby:** fuCK WRONG CHAT  
 **baby:** NJJSKALALKDKD  
 **baby:** WHY CANT I DELETE THE MESSAGE MR STARK

 **tincan:** BECAUSE I FUCKING CHANGED THE RULES SO NO ONE COULD DELETE THEIR MESSAGES AFTER CAP GOT HIS NEW PHONE AND WAS BATTLING WITH THE AUTOCORRECT

 **baby:** haha that was fun

 **tincan:** Yeah  
 **tincan:** Not important, though  
 **tincan:** CARE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF?

 **baby:** ITS A MEME

 **arm:** spelling owu and then dotting a ton of nonexistent i's does the trick wonderfully too

 **baby:** :O

 **tincan:** STOP

 **ass:** NO

 **smart:** WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

 **snek:** Spelling pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis works too.

 **baby:** KNDKSKSKLAKS

 **tincan:** FUCKING STOP THIS

 **ass:** Did you at least use a condom?

 **baby:** its not a party without a hat

 **furry:** There's a reason why I never enter this group.

 **arm:** oh shut up, as if you don't ride dick and spell coconut as well

 **furry:** Not exactly.

 **smart:** NO I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THIS

 **snek:** This whole conversation is a train wreck.  
 **snek:** I love it.

 **baby:** lol

* * *

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** _

WHAT THE FUCK, SLEEPY, I SLEEP HERE

[Attached: _A photo of a black and white sheep laying down on top of a mattress in the floor, a newborn lamb besides her and feeding off her._ ]

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response **@buckybarnes**_

gasp, ur a grandpa now

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@spiderman**_

*whispers* i'm a grandpa

* * *

**flashlight > parkour**

**flashlight:** wya

 **parkour:** compound, y?

 **flashlight:** i need a hug

 **parkour:** what what happened are you okay do i need to go over there are you safe

 **flashlight:** yes baby, i'm okay and safe  
 **flashlight:** i'm just mentally exhausted

 **parkour:** how did it go?

 **flashlight:** they're vultures  
 **flashlight:** they're just trying to see how good will it look for them to say that spiderman's boyfriend works for them  
 **flashlight:** my fucking resume was never touched. they never asked my skills or my experience or fucking nothing  
 **flashlight:** you want to know what they did ask for?

 **parkour:** how often would i be over?

 **flashlight:** bingo  
 **flashlight:** i'm just so tired and i'm fucking sure i can sue them because this bullshit shouldn't be allowed on a job interview  
 **flashlight:** i only want a job so i can leave my abusive house, not to become the publicity token for some money hungry company that's gonna exploit me for their own sake anyway  
 **flashlight:** god damn it now i sound like mj

 **parkour:** im so angry, you dont deserve this kind of bullshit babe  
 **parkour:** wanna go out?

 **flashlight:** fuck, please  
 **flashlight:** i'm just sitting at this starbucks because i really don't want to go home

 **parkour:** give me the address of the starbucks ur at, imma drop by in ten minutes

 **flashlight:** i'll wait for you

* * *

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** _

money greedy corporations can kiss my ass, yall made my bf sad and 4 that u must die

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@spiderman**_

i appreciate the sentiment behind your message, but also, that's awfully violent of your part

_**Junior Spider @spiderman** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

if i had to see my bf cry bc they only wanted to use his image, my politeness has no use on them

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@spiderman**_

damn, _**@dinnerplateshield**_ babe take notes

_**Steve Barnes @dinnerplateshield** in response to **@spiderman** and **@buckybarnes**_

Damn, breaking the Avengers apart must be nothing now. 😔👊

_**Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes** in response to **@spiderman** and **@dinnerplateshield**_

what the fuck steve

* * *

**_Bucky Rogers @buckybarnes_ **

we leaving wakanda now, but i leave with the memory of my grandlamb and 200+ pictures of stevie looking cute

_**Cooler Bird Avenger @THEfalcon** in response to **@buckybarnes**_

Did you really just said grandlamb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hey  
> I guess explanations are due
> 
> This chapter was supposed to be finished and published in September, that's why I mentioned both Good Omens and the Area 51 Raid. However, my inspiration hit a dry season and by the time it came back my Marvel muse completely vanished. Nowhere to be seen, up to this date.
> 
> This is not the finished chapter. I had a whole set of ideas lined up that eventually led to another character arc, but I suppose it wasn't meant to be.
> 
> This is the last chapter, probably forever. I just don't see myself revisiting this story, no matter how much I came to love this fic. 
> 
> Your comments really brightened my day. I'm so sorry I can't continue the story as intended. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and goodbye.


End file.
